Poems
by
Arcadia

I've been hooked I've been iced I've been scaled and then sliced...

My sweetie's going to Africa He leaves on Friday night I've told him…have a real good time As he prepares for flight I'll be alright! ....

During a long distance phone call to a friend in South america, the subject of men, relationships and love arose. My friend said (in her thick accent) "Don't worry darlink...all you need is 'appiness" I think this is what she meant….

I'm going to tell you a story That's neither gruesome nor gory About a boy in the farmland He was but a simple farmhand He gazed into the sky blue above And dreamed of meeting his true love …

Oh I wish I had boobs that would wobble Mine just stay still in one place In the breast hall of fame You won't see my name For my boobs there would be a disgrace ...

I had dinner with my sweetie At his home the other night I knew he’d make a special treat At least I hoped he might...

I'm thirty six and single Children? not a one "Half your luck"...I hear you say, "I'll bet you're having fun!" ...

Thank you for the party Mum My birthday was such fun I know my friends will all come back When I have another one ….

I've been thinking of joining a men's group I've heard they can be lots of fun And if we've all been fightin' for our equal rights here Then I can't see why I can't join one?

You're the train inside my tunnel You're the finger in my glove You're the gear stick in my gearbox My god this must be love….

You turn me on, you handsome hunk With your sunken, hairless chest In your skinny white arms I feel safe from all harm Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! ...

I want to go to Scotland I want to find a man with hairy legs and chest and face no blond, blue eyes and tan with muscles on his muscles a strapping kind of lad with kilt and great big sporran that would make me glad! ....

You put your right leg in, put your left leg out Put your long pink hairy dangly wobbly bit here and shake it all about Do the Karma Sutra and turn me on That's what it's all about ...

Rainbow, please eat your tofu and remember to chew it through then you can have a special treat a carob coated date to eat…

I'm a trainee vegetarian I eat rice It's nice...with curried beef I'm a trainee vegetarian...