BACKFIRE

It happened twenty years ago while travelling interstate
Looking for a shearing job - the night was getting late.
It was me and John Johansen that was driving through the fog,
We was lost and getting nowhere, then, we bottomed in a bog.

"We'd better leg it mate," says John, "I think it's gunna rain,
I'm sure I saw a letterbox a mile back up the lane."
We walked and found the letterbox and through the gloom we saw
A light inside a farmhouse so we fronted at the door.

Our knock was quickly answered by a lady with a lamp,
"Whatcha want?" she muttered, so I said. "A place to camp.
We're cold and wet and hungry missus, could you see us right?
We only want a nice dry bed to sleep in for the night."

"You can't sleep here! I'm on me own! I got no extra beds!
There's straw and lucerne hay inside the feedroom by the sheds.
Make yerselves a bed in there and take this as a warning,
Don't hang around termorrer, youse leave early in the morning!"

The straw was soft, the hay was warm, John snuffed out like a light
And I'll admit I had a very pleasant time that night.
At six a.m. the old girl's voice came rattling through the shed.
"There's eggs and bacon at the house and tea and toast," she said.

We had a bonzer brekky and we couldn't eat no more,
The old duck's attitude to us had softened, that's for sure.
She went and got her tractor and a length of bullock chain
And pulled us from the bog and got us on our way again.

Well, twelve months later, Johnny phoned. " I want to talk to you!
Remember that old farmer girl?" "Yes John," I said, "I do."
"That night when I was sleepin', did you sneak out of the shed
And go and wake our hostess up and climb into her bed?"

"Well Johnny, cobber, yes, I did," I answered, filled with shame.
"And furthermore, you cunnin' rat, you gave my bloody name!"
"Well, yes, I sorta might've done, but you're a decent bloke,
Now you've found my secret John, I hope you'll get the joke."

"Yeah! Very flamin' funny! But - I s'pose ya' gotta laugh,
A joke like that is pretty good, too clever mate, by half.
But - I don't mind," said Johnny, " Cos I'm rather glad you see.
The old girl died three months ago and left her farm to me!"

Copyright; Milton Taylor 2001