Introduction

Bert's loneliness on the worksite was shortlived...after his wife came to visit.

BERT’S PLIGHT

Now Bert's a lonely Pommy
working on a building site,
all the other blokes ignore him
was this to be Bert's plight.

While eyeing off the sheilas
all the other blokes would shout
marking them points from 1 to 10
intent to sort them out.

But Bert would sit and listen
and think of his dear wife,
if she ever heard him talk that way
he'd be in danger of his life.

Some blokes would turn up late for work
due to a late night binge,
then when their pay was somewhat short
would sit and have a whinge.

Bert would have liked to join them
but his wife was of Scottish descent,
so he had to hand over his pay
without ever spending a cent.

So they called him a whimp and a drongo
a whacker a wowser and worse,
poor Bert was stuck with this label
was there no way to break up this curse.

Then one day when his wife came to visit
he laughed to see all of the men
their eyes all popping with envy
for they gave her a ten out of ten.

From then on Bert's mates were aplenty
and no-one would give him a stir,
for they found out Bert's wife has five sisters
who are all a dead ringer for her.

Copyright; Barbara Warnock