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Introduction
What
could be more relaxing than a day on the golf course?...
Between
Holes
Mrs. Gladys
Postlethwaite
Drove off the tee with a number eight
And watched her golf ball taking flight
While curving sharply to the right.
"Oh pooh!"
she moaned, and sure enough
It hurtled off into the rough.
And from her vantage point she sees
It laying there... beneath the trees.
"Oh drat!"
she said "Oh dear, oh dear!"
And other words, we can't print here.
Then with her cart and other stuff
Gladys stomps off in a huff.
Meanwhile...
at the eighteenth flag
The Colonel's game is in the bag
A hundred quid on a twelve inch putt
He could make this shot with both eyes shut.
So smiling
smugly, Colonel Cole
Stepped up to take the final hole
And as his putter struck the ball
A piercing scream was heard by all.
"What
the Hell...?" said Colonel Cole
His golf ball skidding past the hole.
"A hundred nicker down the plug'ole
Plus, of course, a damaged lug'ole.
Glaring wildly,
face bright red
"Who the Hell was that?" he said.
Then from the trees beyond the fairway
Gladys Postlethwaite ran their way.
"Excuse
me, won't you help me please
I've just been stung by a swarm of bees
"Where abouts?... bless my soul!"
"Between the first and second hole!"
The Colonel
answered, "Goodness Me!...
Well why not take a tip from me,
And next time that you play this course...
WEAR SOME BLOODY THICKER DRAWERS!"
Copyright; Paul
Wilkinson
Email:
paul@monologues.co.uk
Web Site: http://www.monologues.co.uk
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