When I was at The Woodford Folk Festival, I bought a T-shirt that said, "I WANNA BE BARBIE, THE BITCH HAS EVERYTHING!" which
inspired the following poem:
Big Bad BarbieI've been considering what life's like for Barbie,
The bitch has everything she doesn't need,
A genuine living doll ... with baggage,
Prostituted for K-TEL's
To represent less than five percent of womankind,
Yet still be a role model for the young,
Have a twelve-inch waist, forty two-inch bust,
Be spoilt, indulged and highly
I'd be wanton to be like Barbie,
The pin-up of playful men,
Action figures vying for my affection,
And (after considerable effort) winning it ... now and
My company always sought after,
For camping, boating or horse rides,
The recipient of continual expensive gifts,
To ensure my presence at their sides.
I want to be like Barbie,
Accessorised to the hilt,
Handbags ... jewellery... shoes ... makeup ... clothes,
All provided free of guilt,
I want to be more
A Barbie with bendy elbows and knees,
Because mine are beginning to stiffen with age,
I'm becoming more robotic by increasing degrees.
I want to be a
But I've probably left my run too late,
By the time that I've finished with cosmetic surgery,
I will have passed my "use-by" date,
I could have all of the cellulite sucked out of my
And recycled onto my chest instead,
Lengthen my legs by eight inches,
But what would I do about my bloody head?
Although ... if I really was like
I'd never enjoy another hearty meal,
Forfeit pleasures of the flesh,
Maybe I'd forget how wonderful good sex can feel.
I wouldn't have any nipples,
tease, lick or suck,
I'd have a smooth crotch ... closed smiling mouth,
No luscious warm wet openings to ... fill (hmmm).
And if I truly was like Barbie,
ever hear a word that I'd say?
Overwhelmed by my eye pleasing packaging,
Not renowned as an audio-visual display.
If I talked ... would you listen,
Value my opinions ... cling to my
A combination of intellect and beauty,
A disturbing Reality ... Don't be absurd
Copyright; Robyn Scott