Introduction

Christmas Stew

Now here's a recipe that I think is just fine:
Find a pot and some fire for heating.
Get some parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme;
Say "Hello" ..... It's Season's Greetings.

Place the pot on the fire with intricate ease,
Then gently dump in a big can of peas.

Take a delicate leaf from your mistletoe,
(Sometimes known as Astronaut's Foot)
Grind it up, pour it in, and season with snow;
Then into the pot you put:

The wings and the heads of two Bummer Bees;
Then tenderly add another can of peas.

Take the buttons from last year's Sanity Clause Suit,
(Now don't think it's all too wierd.)
Stir it all up with one muddy boot;
Add a hair from St. Nick's beard.

Kindly forget the mayonnaise, please;
But now it's time for another can of peas.

(Well, by now you must think I'm insane here,
But if this isn't good, I'll croak.)
Ask your wife, "Do you think it will rain, dear?"
Add her for not catching the joke.

Do it now, don't get weak in the knees;
And on top of your wife pour another can of peas.

(This recipe certainly does sound strange ...)
Add the bark from your Yuletide log.
Spiritually sing, "Away in the Mange"
As you stir in the bark from your dog.

But before you do, remove the fleas;
Then slowly dump in another can of peas.

Now you take a taste and you start to gag,
'Cause you thought, "This stuff, you can't beat it;
I've failed miserably and it's really a drag!"
But .... Dummy! .... Your'e not supposed to eat it.

You stir it all up and you pour it on the ground;
You got peas on earth, good swill all around.

Copyright; Pete Graf