Cinderella, The Real Story!

'It will not fit!" Prince Charming yelled, "your stinking foot's too wide,
If I had feet just half as foul, I'd find some place to hide!
My arms and legs are aching and my back is getting stiffer,
And I'm losing count of feet I've tried to stuff into this slipper!

She should have left her bra instead, that would have been much kinder,
To make this hands-on exercise a lovely way to find her!"
"Do not despair, " his butler said, "You'll triumph in this venture,
Be thankful that she left her shoe, it could have been her denture!"

The butler then looked up to see the beautiful Snow White.
Who'd been working late at Disneyland, and missed the ball last night.
If you can get that slipper on," he whispered with a smirk,
You'll win the greatest lover to have ever chased a skirt."

Snow White responded angrily, "He's useless as a lover!
I've had no luck with seven dwarfs, why should I want another?"
He has no brain between his ears, it's one huge vacant space!
Who else would choose his future wife and not recall her face?"

And then there was a flash of light, a blooming cloud of smoke.
A husky voice came from that cloud and to Prince Charming spoke.
"I'm sorry I must interrupt this most befitting scene,
Take my advice, release that foot, you don't know where it's been!"

"I am your Fairy Godmother, or rather her assistant.
I didn't want to come here, but the old bat was insistent!"
Then as the smoke began to clear the strangest form appeared,
A cross-eyed fairy came in view, with hairy legs and beard!

"You have no chance" Prince Charming scoffed, "Your foot looks like a kipper,
With bunions and those blackened nails, it won't fit in this slipper!
Explain yourself, I warn you now, you'll suffer if you fail.
To justify and verify your hairy-fairy tale!"

"My boss told me to tell you that you're seeking Cinderella,
A stunning young transvestite and a really lovely fella.
He has two ugly sisters who in truth are Cindy's brothers,
And his father is his mother. We're not sure about the others!"

And so Prince Charming's search was done, since he now knew the name.
But with that knowledge came the truth and nothing was the same!
The tingle of the chase was gone, the flame of passion dead.
Perhaps he'd have an early night and wash his hair instead!

Copyright; David Clements
Email: DClem5053@aol.com