Funny Poems

I Am A De-sexed Pussy Cat

I am a desexed pussy cat, they took me to the vet,
Because I got all horny, but I never got one yet.
The female cats around me just hissed and scratched my face,
And my owners got annoyed with me when I hissed around the place.

So in humiliation for they couldn't face the truth,
I went and showed my discontent by crying on the roof.
Well this got the neighbours going, and in came all the calls,
When I heard the big one saying, "That cat is going to loose his balls."

We were waiting in the waiting room, I was naive I must mention,
Though I did detect some guilty looks and the air was full of tension.
And It must have been my cat instincts that made me loose my cool,
For I felt a great urgency to protect the family jewels.

So I escaped and I took off up the road,
Over a fence, across a yard, and tucked up inside was my load.
The little one caught me, -I cried and pleaded why?
As she handed me over to a man in a coat who stuck a needle into my thigh.

When I came to, - in a dopey sleepy blur,
I felt cold, depressed sore, -I couldn't even purr.
And when I think of all the injustices, cats aint got no rights,
Not like you two legged humans, that stay up and play up all night.

I was just a big fluffy kitten, a randy teenage tom,
But now I'm just a neutered thing, because both of my cods are gone.
So I hang out here on the hearth rug, slowly going crackers
All because some capitalistic, self-righteous vet, went and knicked my knackers.

Copyright; Jacqueline H. Bridle