Introduction

You leave him alone you fat lazy tart

Forgiveness For Christopher

Christopher sits on the end of the bed
The light shining bright on his little gold head
Hush, Hush, don't make a sound
He's afraid that his stash will shortly be found.

Amanda's been chasing him all through the years
She's reduced him to weeping a great many tears
He's been hiding in Spain for most of the time
Telling everyone loudly "I don't have a dime".

He shuffles along with his head lowered down
Pretending he's sick, wears a hospital gown
But Amanda is not giving up on him yet
"He'll eventually be caught in my close woven net"

He breathes on his mask and he winces in pain
As the cameras zoom in, a limp he will feign
But 'manda's not silly - no faking she'll brook
"I'll get this con merchant by hook or by crook."

She forgot that his rellies were skulking around
And out of the cupboard a Pixie did bound
"You leave him alone you fat lazy tart
Or I'll drive this here stake right into your heart"

Amanda fell back with a squeal and a shout
Of the truth of this statement she had not a doubt
"Don't do it! Don't do it! That's not very smart!!"
Pixie said "Oh yes I forgot, you don't HAVE a heart!!"

This angered Amanda and for once she was speechless
(Well we all know once started her talks can be ceaseless)
She flounced from the room in a humungous huff.
"I'll show HER, I'll show HER - now things will get rough."

She called up her friend from her varsity days
Her name was Dame Edna - she has such charming ways
"Oh Barry", she cooed, to the Dame's alter ego
"Can you journey to Spain, for your company I need so"

Now Bazza'd been smitten for many a year
By the buxom Amanda, so he gathered his gear
Rushed off to the airport to get on to the plane
To join his beloved in her venture to Spain.

Amanda and Edna soon hatched up a scheme
That would see poor Amanda realise her dream
To get Christopher back to the land of Australia
And relieve her of hearing it said "You're a failure".

The weapon they had was a woman you see
And one with more charm than little Pixie
She was one who was known to lure lots of fellers
Into places where wives had much cause to be jealous.

She'd stood for a seat in the new Parliament House
Been successful but soon she was branded a louse
Her policies stank but her style was seductive
Just what 'manda thought would prove very productive.

She tramped and she vamped and batted her lashes
At all the senors at the local dance bashes
And Christopher, well he was certainly smitten
The final case chapter can surely be written.

She beckoned him over with red-painted finger
He looked at his Pixie ... was tempted to linger
But Pauline now had him held fast in her clutches
No wheelchair was needed - not even some crutches.

Poor Pixie was weeping, her love had now vanished
No longer from Aussie was Christopher banished
For he and his loved one had fled back down under
And taken with them the cash that he'd plundered

Amanda was gleeful - at last she'd succeeded
No more secret plotting would ever be needed
But her pleasure was shortened for Pauline was smitten
Forgiveness for Chris into law was now written.

Protests were useless for no-one would listen
For Pauline, of course, in his absence had risen
Prime Minister now was our red-headed dame
"Please explain" was the question, but no one was game.

Copyright; Pat Cannard
Email: patcan@powerup.com.au