Introduction

Ever thought of that good come-back line ... hours after you needed it?

Consider, then .... Paddy. For those unfamiliar with building or timber, a "bit o' four be two" refers to a piece of wood that is four inches by two inches in cross section.

Despite more than two decades of metrication, "four be two is still in parlance and is totally independent of which way the wood may be being held.

"Four be Two"

Young Paddy worked as a builder's lad,
He was a bit simple ..... and everyone knew;
His boss sent him down to the yard one day
To buy some "four be two".

The salesman gave a wink and a nudge
As young Paddy entered the store;
"We're clean out of "four be two"," he said,
"All we've got's some "two be four"."

"Well, the boss said he wanted "four be two",
Said Paddy, " I'd better go back and see."
An hour later the lad returned,
"I'll have that "two be four"," said he.

"Well how long would you be wanting it?"
Said the salesman, poised with saw;
"Aw struth!" said Paddy,"I dunno."
..........So he headed off once more.

Eventually the lad returned,
Across his face he wore a smile.
"Well the boss said he's building a house with it,
So I guess he'll want it for quite a while."

Copyright; Ian Mackay