Grannie's Trannie

Since Grannie tuned her trannie to a wee small hours D.J.,
She's learning, on an average, six new words a day!
When she used her new found knowledge to express her point of view
The pot plants all keeled over and the atmosphere burned blue!
Granddad used to be a wharfie, but even he turned pale
'Hush, love,' he whispered hoarsely, 'or we'll both end up in jail!'
Gran's tried gardening and knitting but found the pace too slow,
Last we heard she was rehearsing for a Nude Bootskootin' Show!

On Grannie's little trannie, Western Music's her new passion,
She's wearing' boots an' hat an' shirt Yankee cowboy fashion,
Walks like a bronco rider, talks with a Texas drawl,
Good-bye floppy cardigan, farewell lacy shawl!
But Gran grew disillusioned ... it seemed each mournful song
Had a 'gal' all broken hearted or a 'guy' who'd 'been done wrong',
Then Old Shep died of sorrow ... or was it gambling debts or drink?
When Gran's not with her therapist she's visiting a shrink!

But Grannie loved her trannie ... it's on again full blast,
Heavy Metal, Rock and Roll, Gold Oldies from the past,
Rap Dancing, Aussie Country, Gospel, Opera, Jazz and Blues,
Grey Power grit with Attitude in blue suede, fluffy shoes,
Now Groovy Gran's our hottest D.J., she almost runs the show,
The darling of the listeners to our public radio,
Teenage fans, mums and dads, senior citz., the pre-school centre,
Have voted her 'the greatest' ... top 'on-air' Presenter!

Copyright; Margaret Glendenning