Introduction

I'm the world's most impossible bitch.

Guard Dog

I'm a dog with a very firm bite
I'll give you rabies any old night.
I'll give you sprue, beriberi and gout
If you just so much as nuzzle my snout!

I've got fleas that are big as a bird
They can suck you dry in seconds, I've heard.
I've got worms that are bigger than eels
So if you're wise then take to your heels!

Don't touch my tail and don't touch my paws
I'll give you dysentery, leprosy, yaws.
Don't scratch me if you don't want to itch
I'm this world's most impossible bitch!

Don't even think of stroking my fur
You'll get nine complaints from this perilous cur.
Carotid damage may well be your fate
If you just so much as open this gate.

Copyright; S Theobald
Email: stt@bang-olufsen.dk