Funny Poems

Introduction

I Want A Pet

<CHILD>
Mummy I've decided,
I want to have a pet,
Jessica at schools got one,
The cuddliest I've met.
I dinnae want a guinea pig like her,
a hamster or a cat.
I want a bonnier fluffy thing
To nussle in my lap
Its gotta be so cute
And be there for me to play
We'll run and chase and laugh
Together,
Every single day.

<MOTHER>
Im sorry but a pet,
Well it really is'nae on
They're expensive to look after
And who'd care for it when you'd gone

<CHILD>
But mum, the butcher
He said they were going cheap
He said to me he's got four commin in,
Around Wednesday, next week.
I cannae walk past his window
On ma way to school
And see them hanging lifeless
That butcher he's so cruel.

<MOTHER>
Well you cannae have four cows
You need a field not a house
And four pigs are out of the question
So's four ducks or even grouse

<CHILD>
Is not any of those things
I dinnea care if they die
I dinnea fancy stroking a cow
Or cleaning out a sty
I want a little haggis
With three legs, feather and fur
I want tay tickle it under the chin
And listen to it purr

<MOTHER>
A little haggis, you say
Im sorry but whit a laugh
You cannae own a haggis we girl
Dinnae be so daft
For haggis are a wild beast,
Way big teeth and a temper
It'd bite of your hand and arm
Every time you'd go near tay pet her.

Copyright; Gordon Taylor
Email: gordontaylor01@hotmail.com