Introduction

I got the idea for this poem from an "Esther Ransom" show one day. It seems that Middlesborough have a geriatric Ladies Footy Team? Well if they can so can we......Come on you "Liverpuddlian Twisted Twirlies"...

Ladies over 80's Football Team Profile....

Our eldest player Lilly she's 99 today
We put her up for goalie as she's due to pass away

Secondly there's Betty who's a haggard 98
A very bad asthmatic who you'd love to suffocate

Next up it's our Doris at 93 she's doing fine
Before the game she snorts the coke. We call her avaline

At 90 it's our Gertrude who backflips when excited
She shows her draws when her team scores. It keeps the fans delighted

Then 88 it's Lizzie who takes epileptic fits
Who's always on the side line showing all the crowd her…bits

Down from her it's Madge who's a crank for 84
She's better known as lilo as she's always on the floor

We move on then to Edna who's a scream for 83
Her specs they were mechanically built and the loony still can't see

Then comes wonky Hilda who's almost 82
With one leg short she has to wear a massive built up shoe

Twin sisters Flo and Nel they're also 82
Who only stand at 3ft tall, it's strange they never grew

At 81 it's Sally, she's alway's full of smiles
With so much padding round her bum just to protect her piles

Our youngest player Charlotte, she's the tallest one indeed
She's 80 and she's alway's stoned. She smokes the flippin' weed

Feel free to read this profile
As it's a sponsorship we seek
But sadly time is running out
They could all be dead next week!

Copyright; Donna Lauder
Email: donnaresponse@hotmail.com
Web Site: www.poetrypoem.com/poetry6915