Life By The Numbers

face value/second mortgage/third party insurance
fourth dimension/fifth column/six sex shops
seven slow commercials/8 bells for old Kuwait (bombs away)
nine mutant ninja bloody turtles & 10 commandments (oh yeah?)

11 is for the fool/12 for the apostles who killed fish
12 for the jury true/12 virgin vampires at King's X station
13 is out of luck (but cool in black)
14 is acne/15 is hell/16 is heaven/17 is conscripted
18 has a licence to do anything/19 just did it
20 got a job/21 is not the keys to the city
22 is for the fool / 23 is ripe (for 20 minutes) / 24 is Xmas eve
25 is hot turkey & cold ham or cold comfort
26 is hang-over & hair-o'-the dog
27 28 29 30 are working breeding feeding building breaking-up

31 is new year's eve/one is regret/two drinks to forget
3 & 30 is divorce/four is a family/five is a crowd
6 weds 2 families (3 of his & 3 of her's) / lucky 7 is breaking mirrors
8 adds the puss and the dog/39 is a party/40 is a wake

41 42 43 44 45 are a race / 46 48 49 and a half - a blur
50 is a golden anniversary/51 is 2 donuts & cream
52 is a picnic basket/53 is a chiropractor
54 is a grandfather clock (tick tock tick tock)
55 is a gold watch (tick tick tick tick tick tick)
56 is knitted socks/57 talks about heaven
while 58 has a 17 year old date/59 has cold showers

60 counts the hours......... one & sixty begins again
62 has dying friends/63 is not the end
64 has brand new teeth
65 is great to survive / 66 has no more sex...
67 knows the waiting room: the doctor the dentist the club
 the couch the comfy chair
68 worries / 69 doesn't care/70 is nearly there
&71-2-3-4 shuffling out the door so who's counting any more...

who's counting honey?!
now listen here sonny:
I happen to be alive at 75
I've still got my sex at seventy-sex
I don't talk about heaven 'cos I'm 77
& 78 & 79 well they were fine
but I didn't get down to the nitty-gritty
'til I got down to being an 80 biddie,
& 5'11 get ya' 10 / and l0'll get ya' 20
that I can buckle my shoe at 92
I can climb the mountain & swim in the fountain
and I'll be pushing 100
 I'll be doing the ton
 I'll be telling my story
'til the end of the...

Copyright; David Hallett