Introduction

This old plane may be rusty and look quite podgy
but she soars like a bird, its the landing that's dodgy

My Very First Flight

Its my very first flight, I nervously said
as I boarded the plane bound for the med
you will be just fine, the hostess chuckled
just fasten your seat belt and keep it buckled

Thank you I said, but she struck me as odd
she wore a snorkle and sang 'Nearer my God'
but I brushed it aside, she was really quite sweet
in her blue divers outfit and flippered feet

Do these planes crash often? I asked in panic
No, just the once, she said looking quite manic
if anyone should worry, it's the captain you know
he's the poor soul with the vertigo

Good morning said the voice, your captain speaking
there will be a delay, we have a fuel pipe leaking
just stay very calm and please do not smoke
oh, and hands up those prone to a seizure or stroke

Good afternoon, said the voice, it's your captain again
the fuel pipe's now fixed on this magnificent plane
just give us an hour, we will be up and gone
as soon as we fit the propeller back on

Good evening, said the voice, it's your captain once more
we have a slight problem with the left hand side door
there's no need to panic, it's just missing a nut
oh it closes all right, but the thing won't stay shut

Good morning, said the voice, come on guess who
have I got wonderful news for you
it's lift off time, we are ready to fly
so fasten those seat belts, let's head for the sky

Hello, said the voice, it's me in the cockpit
that take off was brilliant, you have to admit it
this old plane may be rusty and look quite podgy
but she soars like a bird, its the landing that's dodgy

Hello, hello, your captain speaking again
all obese passengers to the rear of the plane
there is no need for panic, we are all in with a chance
if we can straighten her up, before she nose dives on France

Hi, said the voice, this is captain meek
that naughty fuel pipe has sprung another leak
so just for a while we will be flying quite low
and who knows, it might clear this old vertigo

Hello, can anyone hear me, it's your captain again
if you look out to the left you will see sunny Spain
now look out to the right, see that dingy bobbing in the sea
well you are never gonna believe it, that chap waving is me!

Copyright; Rebecca Stone