Introduction

Have you ever moved home? Have you been introduced to Estate Agent speak? Did he appear? The man in the suit! Did you sign on the bottom line....read on

Selling Up & Moving Out

It was a lovely summer morning
Yes I remember that day well
It changed my world forever
I met the Estate Agent from Hell!

It seemed a good idea
The sun was shining bright
I didn't know that morning
I'd rue the day that night!

We visited the Estate Agents
With smiling faces, & open arms
They gave us hope "we can sell your place"
And wrapped it up in all their charms

"Oh yes you'll make your asking price
And we'll value it for free"
He stayed from morn 'till evening time
And I had to invite him then for tea!

He wandered round my home at ease
Passing comment now & then
He turned my tiny box-room
Into a most exquisite den

The bathroom he said could be divided
Or have a shower room en suite
"We'll make allowance for the pampas bath
But get rid of the "frog" toilet seat!"

Double-glazing for the most part is obvious
So is the broken seal you can see
Gas Central Heating and the hot water
Both operate on dual economy

Then he moved into the spare bedroom
"Oh if you tidy this up a bit
Get rid of the piano, guitar & drums
There might be somewhere else to sit!"

My son's room next there can be no doubt
He will love this all action man
No he just pulled all the netting from the wall
And sat me down with an action plan

"Oh yeah you can make this dreamy & light
Put up curtains paint it blue" so he said
Aw come on get real it's my son's room
He only wants a place for his bed!

Now he's entered my boudoir I'm holding my breath
I can't bear to look or to listen
He took one look at the mirrors on the ceiling
And his eyes began to glisten!

It's not what you think I hastened to tell him
But he'd already made up his mind
My bedroom was top of his hit list
Oh I'd heard about men of his kind!

What about the lounge & the kitchen?
And the reception room with the beams?
He measured them all and when he had finished
I knew I really had the house of my dreams!

Copyright; Cathie Dunn