Introduction

My girlfriend is always going on and on about how I should go skiing with her.

I don't have any issues with those who go skiing, I just don't fancy it.

I always hear stories about skiing injuries, and to be honest the thought of careering down a hill at far too many miles an hour scares me stupid.

Skiing

Skiing?

No I don't think so
I don't want to break a limb
I fancy my chances of staying intact are hopelessly, painfully slim.

My balance is all wrong you see
I can't even walk a straight line
No, a pair of skis are incompatible with these clumsy legs of mine.

I'll admit the scenery looks amazing, in the brochures that I've seen,
But there's a world of danger in the:
a) trees
b) cliffs
c) slopes
d) ravines

Call me a wimp,
I don't care
I'll admit I am a cynic.
But I don't want to spend my hard earned cash
On a holiday that ends in the clinic.

Copyright; Phillip Mitchell