This is for all the SLOW granny drivers!
Driving in a sixty zone,
I checked upon my speed,
And realised I was creeping forward,
Slower than need.
But when I tried to quicken pace,
I ran into a snag,
The driver of the car in front,
(A silly blue rinse hag!).
She wasn't speeding up at all,
In fact she slowed right down,
'Till we were going twenty,
In the sixty zone through town.
A few good miles up the road,
I saw a another sign,
80k's was now the speed,
Which I thought sounded fine.
But do you think that this old bat,
Would now increase her speed?
Not a chance or hope in hell,
A stone would sooner bleed!!
Another sign, still further up,
And hope shone through my pain,
Any minute now I'd see,
An over taking lane!
But LO BEHOLD! The second that,
There came a place to pass,
Granny stomped the gas down hard,
Left me to kiss her ass!
So then she's FLYING down the road,
And though I tried my best,
I couldn't even MATCH her speed,
Forget about the rest!!
We left the overtaking lane,
And entered now the hills,
And can you guess what happened next?
That's right! She'd had her thrills!
So forty in the hundred zone,
Was now all Gran would go,
I started getting really mad,
At going so damn slow!
I beeped my horn and flashed my lights,
To get her out my way,
Which Granny soon responded to,
By easing back 10k.
I rolled my window down as far,
As it was made to go,
Stuck my head outside and yelled....
Well... you don't want to know.
Nanna blue rinse gave no sign,
That she had heard a thing,
Except to slow down slightly more,
My head began to sting.
That was it, I'd had enough!
I had to end this now,
And over take this dinosaur,
In any which way how!
I dropped my car back into fourth,
And moved up to her side,
Slammed the gas right to the floor,
And took the corner wide.
But sweet old granny somehow knew,
Exactly what I'd planned,
She planted down her wrinkled foot,
Prepared to make a stand...
Not so fast you shrivelled prune!
I swung my wheel around,
And took her on the left hand side,
Before she'd made a sound!
I'd done it! I was out in front!
The leader of the herd!
I glanced back just to find that Gran,
Was flipping me the bird!
But nothing that old cow did now,
Could change my happy thoughts,
Today a Sunday Driver had,
Been made to eat my shorts!
All other material on this web site, unless otherwise noted, is
Copyright. All rights reserved.© 1998 - , by Duncan Flynn
and www.funnypoets.com -Contact us at:
Po Box 1041, Maleny, Qld, Australia
Phone: 0417 721 802