Introduction

This came to me after seeing some of the Jerry Springer Show one day. Funny thing is, I have never watched the whole show, about five minutes is all I can stand.

The Ringer's Revenge

I wonder if you've seen this Jerry Springer on TV?
A smooth sarcastic mongrel who does not appeal to me,
He loads the stage with innocents who don't seem all that bright,
Then stirs the pot with smart remarks until they want to fight.

But Jerry never gets involved, he stands some steps away,
And lets these huge great bouncers keep protagonists at bay,
He stands upon the sidelines, looking on without a care,
But one day something happened that will never go to air.

This poor young girl was crying for one reason or another,
It seems her dear beloved had been sleeping with her mother,
The family all were on the stage and things were getting rough,
When from the crowd a voice was heard, "I think I've heard enough".

A ringer from the Outback who was there on a vacation,
Leapt forth towards the husband, he was set on strangulation,
The head of their security stepped in to bar the way,
But he wasn't near as tough as bulls the ringer fought each day.

The bouncer took a mighty swipe, just missed the ringer's nose,
The ringer aimed a kick that landed right between his toes,
You may think that can't hurt a lot, but please let me explain,
When it's right between the Big toes it can cause a lot of pain.

And as the bouncer lay there like a piglet in a wallow,
His eyes were blind with water, he was trying hard to swallow,
The ringer grabbed the husband and he shook him like a rat,
"Where I come from it isn't done to treat a girl like that",

Then Jerry spoke from in the crowd, that was a big mistake,
The ringer's eyes were glowing like a croc out on a lake,
He set his gaze upon the host and made a bee-line there,
But the host was not that stupid, he was running like a hare.

This ringer made his living catching bulls that weighed a ton,
So when Jerry started running then the fun had just begun,
The guards that came between them were soon flattened like a log,
And he mustered Jerry faster than his old blue heeler dog.

"Don't hit me" Jerry whimpered as he cowered in a corner,
The ringer said "You're lucky that I don't have me dehorner",
Then the ringer left the building, said he didn't like the show,
And security were happy to allow the bloke to go.

Now the ringer has returned, back to the family cattle station,
And he thinks of Jerry Springer when performing each castration,
And his wife is very mindful of the TV shows they view,
If you'd been there to see that show, I reckon you would too.

Copyright; Warren Dakin