Hate people who give advice ? Be careful; you may become one!

There once was a time I was omnipotent, .....

I get up in the morning and greet it with a sigh, Shuffle from the bedroom with hair and brain awry, ...

A computer was something on TV From a science fiction show of note ...

No, don't take my photograph!

What's going on? My brother Barry asked of me "Stick up your head, and tell us what you see"...

Old men have daily schedules, too!

Do you have friends who complete each other's sentences.

No more disco dancing...no boppin' that's for sure .....

My 94 year old granny is stone deaf. This one is for her.

Early Morning Jog

Well I have survived my second morning of jogging. "But the lungs aren't what they used to be, my esophagus is tighter than my arse."

She had such a passion for living, you'd think the last thing she'd do was to die.

“Do you know...what day it is?” “Nope”...said my beau. “What's today?” “Well! If you can't remember”, I cried “I'm not gonna say. Well aren't you gonna ask me?” I insisted with a few tears. “Alright”, he said...”you're fifty today... and you have been for three or four years”...

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less.....

I think the poem echos the thoughts of a lot more people than just me

Since Grannie tuned her trannie to a wee small hours D.J., She's learning, on an average, six new words a day! When she used her new found knowledge to express her point of view The pot plants all keeled over and the atmosphere burned blue!

In the dim and distant past, When life's tempo wasn't fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and baby sit. .....

The backs of my arms are wobbly like jelly and I found the remote tucked under my belly....

'll be fine when I lose a few hundred pounds and my cough isn't really as bad as it sounds....

I'd just turned fifty and had been on crutches for a while and the fear of old age loomed so I thought I'd turn it in to a joke.

Just a line to say I'm living, that I'm not among the dead, though I'm getting more forgetful and mixed up in the head. ...

I can't remember me name and I can't remember me age, but I'm awfully good for the shape I'm in, I think?

There is nothing the matter with me. I'm as healthy as I can be. I have arthritis in both my knees And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.

Since retiring, I'm often annoyed By dilettante students of Freud...

My life is like a kitchen fridge. The analogy is frightening. How analysing this white good,gives insights so enlightening.

This has to be every man's worst nightmare!..They hate it when us women play their sport!..Get a load of this then guys!......

Now I lay me Down to sleep. I pray the lord My shape to keep.

Little blue eyed Rose Sinclair, Stood shyly by the barber's chair While Mr. Fairclough trimmed the hair Of Rose's father, sitting there....

Our starting blocks were wooden crates we rescued from the fire. Our lanes ropes were just some second hand part roll used barb wire.

It will affect you too sooner or later.

From G to XXX - the Dreamaker is a one of kind find. Read one of his silly whips...

A poem wot I rote about when I got me disabled parking badge! Huh, what was the question? I'm OLD you know!

A face with a thousand wrinkles....

There are days and there are days and they all have colours and moods ....

This was written for a friend who had a terrible shock one morning.......

Today I turned fifty. I feel really good. My body's still working quite well thanks. (Touch wood!) My hair's not too grey, my wrinkles are few, ...

Beneath my brow a thought somehow ran off its track and won't come back...

The other day, I happened by chance, As I passed a mirror, to give it a glance....

Eternal youth is dreams or lies ......

Love me when I'm old and shocking.

Regretfully did I arrive, Attained the age of fifty-five. But helping counter my chagrin: Senior-discounts kicking in....

Hope I remember to get up!!

I wish I was a Supergran, with super powers as well, You bet I'd make my presence felt, I'd come out of my shell. I'd buy myself some cargo pants, with pockets deep and wide, so I could hide all sorts of goodies, deep down there inside....

In deaths today I saw my name, No way I said and looked again ...

Now I'm old and feeble, And my pilot light is out, What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout...

Old Crackerjack Mick was a mighty bloke of hale and hearty kin And he sired nineteen cowboys, not a cowgirl there within...

Okay, so fishermen have been known to stretch the truth a little...!!!

The girl you knew at twenty two Who heard the vows you made,....

I know my well-known erudition May explain why you gave me this mission...

Well that was then and this, dear god, is now...

I'm piddl'n and paus'n and paus'n and piddl'n And then I'm a-paus'n once more It's three in the morn'n, I'll be back before dawn'n And I'll walk that cold lavat'ry floor...

I was booked to have a mammogram, on a bus that comes around. I waited ten minutes at the stop outside the football ground....

Proof that life CAN be fun after the menopause!!

Ever looked in the mirror and wondered who is the oldie looking back?......Good grief there's an old person looking at me!

Ever looked in the mirror and wondered who is the oldie looking back?......Good grief there's an old person looking at me!

Today we buried Great Uncle Ted. 'Died unexpectedly' the obituary read. How un-expected can people be, after all the old fart was a hundred and three.

A ripe peach with a ugly bruise, a pair of stinky tennis shoes, a day-old ham-and-cheese on rye..

My mirrors all have wrinkled glass, my image lost its muscled mass, which wound up fat around my ass....

I may have been in the garden at the time...

There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a Senior Citizens concert. Ms. Andrews sang a song from the Sound of Music, 'Favorite Things'. There were a few changes to the words, so here's the new song.

Another birthday over, yet I don't feel old...