Age Related Poems

 

Age Related Poems

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Advice in AbundanceJay

Hate people who give advice ? Be careful; you may become one!

A Feeling of ImpotenceAlbert Van Hoogmoed

There once was a time I was omnipotent, .....

Antiquity Blues John Picksersgill

I get up in the morning and greet it with a sigh, Shuffle from the bedroom with hair and brain awry, ...

A Poem For Those Over 30 Author Unknown

A computer was something on TV From a science fiction show of note ...

Beach PicJoe Pamanian

No, don't take my photograph!

Clod Fight DonL

What's going on? My brother Barry asked of me "Stick up your head, and tell us what you see"...

CodgeringDarby O'Grady

Old men have daily schedules, too!

Conjugal TelepathyIan Smith

Do you have friends who complete each other's sentences.

Disco Diva Samantha M Jones

No more disco dancing...no boppin' that's for sure .....

DoctorStephen Cree

My 94 year old granny is stone deaf. This one is for her.

Early Morning Jog

The Guru

Well I have survived my second morning of jogging. "But the lungs aren't what they used to be, my esophagus is tighter than my arse."

Edie GonzalezGary Hogg

She had such a passion for living, you'd think the last thing she'd do was to die.

Fifty Something (Ex Top Ten) Shirley Friend

“Do you know...what day it is?” “Nope”...said my beau. “What's today?” “Well! If you can't remember”, I cried “I'm not gonna say. Well aren't you gonna ask me?” I insisted with a few tears. “Alright”, he said...”you're fifty today... and you have been for three or four years”...

For All The Girls! Author Unknown

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less.....

Getting Old Alan Billington

I think the poem echos the thoughts of a lot more people than just me

Grannie's Trannie Margaret Glendenning

Since Grannie tuned her trannie to a wee small hours D.J., She's learning, on an average, six new words a day! When she used her new found knowledge to express her point of view The pot plants all keeled over and the atmosphere burned blue!

Grandma's off her Rocker! Author Unknown

In the dim and distant past, When life's tempo wasn't fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and baby sit. .....

Growing Old GracefullyDonna Vickodil

The backs of my arms are wobbly like jelly and I found the remote tucked under my belly....

How Am I You Ask?Donna Vickodil

'll be fine when I lose a few hundred pounds and my cough isn't really as bad as it sounds....

How Areya Five O Samantha Jones

I'd just turned fifty and had been on crutches for a while and the fear of old age loomed so I thought I'd turn it in to a joke.

I Can't Remember! Author Unknown

Just a line to say I'm living, that I'm not among the dead, though I'm getting more forgetful and mixed up in the head. ...

I'm Fine Thanks Jessie Morton

I can't remember me name and I can't remember me age, but I'm awfully good for the shape I'm in, I think?

I'm Fine, Thank YOU Author Unknown

There is nothing the matter with me. I'm as healthy as I can be. I have arthritis in both my knees And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.

I Remember Gender Tad Lawson

Since retiring, I'm often annoyed By dilettante students of Freud...

Keep Cool Dr John Parker

My life is like a kitchen fridge. The analogy is frightening. How analysing this white good,gives insights so enlightening.

Ladies over 80's Football Team Profile.... Donna Lauder

This has to be every man's worst nightmare!..They hate it when us women play their sport!..Get a load of this then guys!......

Ladies Prayer Puddlez

Now I lay me Down to sleep. I pray the lord My shape to keep.

Little Rose Paul Wilkinson

Little blue eyed Rose Sinclair, Stood shyly by the barber's chair While Mr. Fairclough trimmed the hair Of Rose's father, sitting there....

Me Swimmin' Days Mick Fleming

Our starting blocks were wooden crates we rescued from the fire. Our lanes ropes were just some second hand part roll used barb wire.

Mirror Mirror. Bernard Shaw

It will affect you too sooner or later.

My Explosive Woman The Dreamaker

From G to XXX - the Dreamaker is a one of kind find. Read one of his silly whips...

OAP (Old Aged Paul) (Ex Top Ten) Paul Bearer

A poem wot I rote about when I got me disabled parking badge! Huh, what was the question? I'm OLD you know!

Ode To A Mother-In-Law Joe Earl

A face with a thousand wrinkles....

Oh Such Misery Anita V.

There are days and there are days and they all have colours and moods ....

OMIGOD Bee Rawlinson

This was written for a friend who had a terrible shock one morning.......

On Turning Fifty Sue Taylor

Today I turned fifty. I feel really good. My body's still working quite well thanks. (Touch wood!) My hair's not too grey, my wrinkles are few, ...

Out Of My Mind Royce Koon

Beneath my brow a thought somehow ran off its track and won't come back...

Reflections Lucy Blades

The other day, I happened by chance, As I passed a mirror, to give it a glance....

Rusting Gerald Bosacker

Eternal youth is dreams or lies ......

Saga Love Bee Rawlinson

Love me when I'm old and shocking.

Senior Mirror Lately? (Ex Top Ten) Bob Wombacher, Jr.

Regretfully did I arrive, Attained the age of fifty-five. But helping counter my chagrin: Senior-discounts kicking in....

Senior Moment Gin

Hope I remember to get up!!

Supergran Patricia Markey

I wish I was a Supergran, with super powers as well, You bet I'd make my presence felt, I'd come out of my shell. I'd buy myself some cargo pants, with pockets deep and wide, so I could hide all sorts of goodies, deep down there inside....

Talk Of The Devil John Picksersgill

In deaths today I saw my name, No way I said and looked again ...

That For The Blokes (Ex Top Ten) Author Unknown

Now I'm old and feeble, And my pilot light is out, What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout...

The Crackerjacks Leighton B Watts

Old Crackerjack Mick was a mighty bloke of hale and hearty kin And he sired nineteen cowboys, not a cowgirl there within...

The Fisherman's Tale Paul Wilkinson

Okay, so fishermen have been known to stretch the truth a little...!!!

The Girl You Knew Joe Pamanian

The girl you knew at twenty two Who heard the vows you made,....

The Impossible Takes a Little Longer Tad Lawson

I know my well-known erudition May explain why you gave me this mission...

The Last Hoorah Joe Pamanian

Well that was then and this, dear god, is now...

The Piddlers Lament (Ex Top Ten) John Rogers

I'm piddl'n and paus'n and paus'n and piddl'n And then I'm a-paus'n once more It's three in the morn'n, I'll be back before dawn'n And I'll walk that cold lavat'ry floor...

The Mammagram (Ex Top Ten) Shirley Friend

I was booked to have a mammogram, on a bus that comes around. I waited ten minutes at the stop outside the football ground....

The Menopause Blues Stephanie Harness

Proof that life CAN be fun after the menopause!!

The Mirror For Her Marina Cuell

Ever looked in the mirror and wondered who is the oldie looking back?......Good grief there's an old person looking at me!

The Mirror For Him Marina Cuell

Ever looked in the mirror and wondered who is the oldie looking back?......Good grief there's an old person looking at me!

Those Disastrous Ancestors of Mine Rebecca Stone

Today we buried Great Uncle Ted. 'Died unexpectedly' the obituary read. How un-expected can people be, after all the old fart was a hundred and three.

What I Found in My Desk Carol Prince

A ripe peach with a ugly bruise, a pair of stinky tennis shoes, a day-old ham-and-cheese on rye..

WHEE! WE'RE GOLDEN AGERS DrWryme

My mirrors all have wrinkled glass, my image lost its muscled mass, which wound up fat around my ass....

Where Was I? Joe Pamanian

I may have been in the garden at the time...

Wondrous Things Author Unknown

There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a Senior Citizens concert. Ms. Andrews sang a song from the Sound of Music, 'Favorite Things'. There were a few changes to the words, so here's the new song.

Young At Heart Carol Prince

Another birthday over, yet I don't feel old...



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