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| A Bonanza of a Day | Tony Parry | |||
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It was in the shire of Scone where fine Thoroughbreds are grown And sheep and cattle graze contentedly, .... |
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| A Cat Named Joe | Leighton B Watts | |||
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There's a cat named Joe and you wouldn't want to know, But he thinks he'd like to be a Hippopotamus..... |
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| A Dog's Life? | Mr. A. Non | |||
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There once was a feisty young terrier,....... |
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| A Fishy 'Tail' of Woe | Arcadia Flynn | |||
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I've been hooked I've been iced I've been scaled and then sliced... |
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| Animal Crackers | Walter Occleston | |||
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A hedgehog is a funny thing, 'twill curl up tightly in a ring,...... |
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| Animal Health Warning | Ephraim Crud | |||
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The moon were at its full that night when I first heard Horace croak, ....... |
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| APEX | James Hacsi | |||
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Did you see that bare-breasted, pole-climbing dancer today? |
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| A Spider In The Sink | S Theobald | |||
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So if you ever see a spider drinking gin and apple cider,... |
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| Aylwin's Parrot | Joe Pamanian | |||
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This is from an unpublished collection entitled "Unusual Birds of Many Lands" or something like that... |
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| Banana Zoo | Ephraim Crud | |||
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Should you behold Banana Zoo you're sure of a big surprise for there you'll see Ken Kangaroo.... |
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Before
Purina 
(Ex Top Ten) |
Tad Lawson | |||
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How's a cat to get fat on THAT? |
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| Big Red | Bette Moss | |||
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Poulets $1.50 the ad in the newspaper said And cockerals too at the very same price black or white or red We'll take half a dozen of each we agreed... |
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| Billy & Bob | Heather Densley | |||
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A couple of townies purchased a farm - Thought they'd enjoy the peace and the calm. But if hobby farmers they wanted to be, They needed some animals for people to see.... |
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| Bogus Nocturne | Eric Hansen | |||
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Bogus the Bogung was a moth, who aspired, To scale the Hollywood heights, Yearning to mingle with starlets who're single; A foppish and gallant squire. |
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| Bullocks | Harvey Dux | |||
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The things a farmer has to go through to make a living!. |
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| But Grampa, You Just Said "Two" | Tad Lawson | |||
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Sex education can't start too young. |
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| Butterfly | Gerald Bosacker | |||
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As you watch them flutter by ...... |
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| Cats | Paul Bearer | |||
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Nice kitty. Now, PLEASE get off my lap! How can something so cute be so %$&#@#... |
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| Cat Thorts | Bridh Hancock | |||
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(a cat's inspired musings, and if the form of this poem is not particularly tight, it is this cat's first and probably last piece of poetry, and it is pretty good too) |
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| Cross-Breeding | Leighton B Watts | |||
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Welcome to the Zoo, my friends Where things are a little out of whack You see, someone left the gates unlocked And the animals never looked back..... |
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| Danger in the Wet | Mr. A. Non | |||
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Some people in North Queensland (Australia) love having tourists visit them so much, that they tell them this tale... |
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| Does A Fish Go Pee? | Caffy | |||
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Have you ever wondered how much of the water you're swimming in is really water? |
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| Day At The Zoo | Tom Gaunt | |||
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Jack is asked to help out at the zoo in an unusual way |
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| Don't Call Them Dog | DrWryme | |||
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Dogs don't cry or do confessions though any dog, when mad, could bite. ..... |
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| Down At The Club | Neil O'Hara-Smith | |||
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Odd goings on in a Yorkshire Working Men's club... |
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| Drizabone | Graham Fredriksen | |||
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As my heart sings a country song, I brave the yearly August throng, with pioneering instincts strong to where the bushmen are; ... |
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| Eric the Evil Emu | Rob Spence | |||
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Have you ever had an "incident" with an emu? |
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| Fly By Night | Lether | |||
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Where do flies go at night? |
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| Flypaper | Ephraim Crud | |||
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The title of this poem's misleadin', it's not quite as it implies for this is a thesis I've written... |
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| Free Puppies | Christopher Stolle | |||
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You've seen the signs in front yards. Here's what's behind the words. |
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| Goats | Kathleen Thorpe | |||
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Trotting through the dusk on that deserted country lane, a sight I'd never seen before - nor never will again.... |
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| Guard Dog | S Theobald | |||
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I'm the world's most impossible bitch. |
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Have We Evolved? | Matt Haught | ||
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"If we came from an ape, we're in pretty bad shape. It's kind of like the raisin that came from a grape" |
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| Hugh (The Gnu) | Bob Pladek | |||
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This child's poem captures the feelings of wanting the impossible, and realization of the wonders of the actual. |
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| I Am A De-sexed Pussy Cat | Jacqueline H. Bridle | |||
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I am a desexed pussy cat, they took me to the vet, Because I got all horny, but I never got one yet. The female cats around me just hissed and scratched my face, And my owners got annoyed with me when I hissed around the place. .... |
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| I Don't Believe In Fish Anymore | Ephraim Crud | |||
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Armed with a rod in a boat on a pond wonderin' 'why?' when I'm not at all fond of fishin' and wishin' |
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| I Hope Yer Sheep Get Flyblown | Janine Haig Eulo Q. | |||
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So you're the mob got all the rain while we got hardly none; The clouds massed over your place and left us with the sun. Your bit of sky grew darker, while we just got the heat - |
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| I Want A Pet | Gordon Taylor | |||
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Some animals make perfect pets, some animals don't. |
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| Karens Chooks | Harvey Dux | |||
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Some backyard chooks are easy to miss, but not Karens. |
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| Manimal | James McDougall | |||
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Have you ever wished you could be an animal even for one day? This is a short poem about that very wish! |
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| Me Pet Dislikes | Ephraim Crud | |||
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An undying friendship. From his book 'Inert Activity' |
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| More Nature Studies | Joe Pamanian | |||
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I met a man who told me that He had a pet, a vampire bat. .... |
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| Mountain Hero | Patricia Markey | |||
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Way up in the mountain ranges, where the bellbirds ring the changes, and the Autumn deer are roaring underneath the gum trees soaring, ..... |
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| Murphy's Jersey Bull | Mr. A. Non | |||
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Murphy was a battler, forever trying to grub A living from a holding that was mainly stone and scrub, He had seven hungry children, so he greeted with dismay, The announcement from his missus that the eighth was on the way. |
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| My First Time | Michelle Wise | |||
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But slowly she spread her legs apart..... |
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| My Gilded Filly | Travis Brasell | |||
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There's always some real interesting twists and turns to ranch life, but here's one that that really takes the cake. |
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| My Googly Eyed Goldfish | Pauline Skerman | |||
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Its a wet- wet -wet -dark Sunday, I'm standing at my sink. I'm looking at my Goldfish, What does my goldfish think? |
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| Murphy's Pig | Pimms | |||
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Now Paddy and Murphy were two Irish men Who went to the market one day... |
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| No Egrets | Ian Mackay | |||
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All these years I've driven in the country, You know I've always wondered how; When you'd see a field full of cattle, There was always one egret... for every cow. |
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| Pet Problem | Dave Larson | |||
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My hamster has the hiccups I think it's rather funny..... |
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| Piddlin' Pete | Jo Anderson | |||
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A farmer's dog came into town, His Christian name was Pete. A noble pedigree he had,.... |
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| Puppy Love | Brian Bell | |||
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Dolores had been on her own for a while, since Herbie had cashed in his chips. Just lately, a friend gave Dolores a pup, returning a smile to her lips.... |
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| Pussy In Tights | Samantha M Jones | |||
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Oh dear...I am in such distress My pussy is in a right mess She bites off her fur, which is causing a stir So I covered her up...... |
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| Ode To A Missouri Mule | Fred Moore | |||
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Have you ever plowed with a mule, especially one that should have been an extra in " The Exorcist" .......well I have.....and I just barely lived to tell about it. A coutry boy's tale of barnyard horror!!! |
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| One Ugly Dog | Wally Finch | |||
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"Davo" Davidson had a dog that was the meanest thing around. No one knew what breed he was. We just called him "that mongrel hound" ... |
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Pedro the Paranoid Pirhanna
(Ex Top Ten) |
The Grin Reaper | |||
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I'm Pedro the paranoid pirhanna, and I don't think that I'll see manyana,'cos some o' me mates, want me on their plates - |
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| Rat | Stephen Cree | |||
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A rat the size of a lorry has invaded my garden shed... |
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| Rocky | Don Johnson | |||
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Tis occured to me after a visit by some religious types :) |
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| Rod, the Lion-Hearted Kitten | Connie Hinnen Cook | |||
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Young Rod was just a small red cat, but no one ever told him that! |
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| Snakebite | Neil O'Hara-Smith | |||
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The flying doctor's phone rang... |
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| Some Nature Studies | Joe Pamanian | |||
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...a guide to the wonderful world of animals and birds! |
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| Spiderless | Samantha Jones | |||
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Lifted up me leg and squashed 'im, wiv me boot. |
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| Taking Stock | Bob Wombacher | |||
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Counting cows from a moo-ving train Can blow your mind and fry your brain..... |
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| The Albatrice | Joe Pamanian | |||
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...from the collection (unpublished) entitled "Unusual Birds of Many Lands." |
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| The Cat | Leighton B Watts | |||
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I was talking to this jerky bloke, his movements sharp and quick He couldn't look you in the eye, he had a twitchy tic..... |
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| The Caterpillar | Gordon Taylor | |||
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An insects life flashes past his many eyes as he waits for the end to come.. |
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| The Family Cat | Stringybark | |||
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Oh tragedy! Alas, alack! Pets are a wonderful addition to the family, until they die, and then how do you handle this sensitive family crisis? With tact or tack? |
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| The Family Pet | Jacqueline Ramm | |||
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Some family pets are more trouble than others! |
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| The Fisherman's Tale | Paul Wilkinson | |||
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Okay, so fishermen have been known to stretch the truth a little...!!! |
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| The Goating Bug | Jennifer Haig | |||
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Me dad, he got the goating bug and his eyes - they all went weird, In place of brown were dollar signs and new plans were engineered; |
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The
Hair of the Dog
(Ex Top Ten) |
Charlee Marshall | ||
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There are dogs of all shapes and all sizes There are dogs of all colours and breeds There are some that you’d call early risers And some that lie dow in the weeds But I’ll tell you about Mrs Grundy... |
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| The Irish Pig | Mr. A. Non | |||
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'Twas an evening in November, As I very well remember, I was strolling down the street in drunken pride, ... |
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| The
Kelpie
(Ex Top Ten) |
Graham Fredriksen | |||
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Well I'm down among the stubble an' havin' bloody trouble 'coz these cattle from the scrub'll take some catchin'. First they double... |
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| The
Lawyer's Lament
(Ex Top Ten) |
David Peetz | ||
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What is the link betwen lawyers and rats? And why would men in black gowns fear blokes in white coats? |
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| The Long Way Home | Margaret Glendenning | ||
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'Hello, Puss! Hey!, Sweetie Puss is getting rather fat!' Dad promptly switched attention from the T.V. to the cat, Sweetie Puss purred smugly, her gently rounded tum Proclaimed to all and sundry she was soon to be a Mum, |
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| The Lorikeets | Vida Rideout | ||
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Have you heard the lorikeets when they get "drunk" on the berries of the umbrella tree? What a raucous noise they make! This inspired me to write the poem. |
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| The Lovers | Jennifer Haig | ||
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The sun went down and above the town The sky became deep blue; A meeting made, above the glade Between these special two. ... |
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| The Maggot | Attila the Stockbroker | ||
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The Maggot's not for recipes, at least that's my advice. It's true that he looks rather like a wriggly grain of Rice.... |
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| The Mosquito Trap | Charlee Marshall | ||
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In the far-off north of Queensland, a nostalgic, might-have-been’s land There’s a wild ferocious creature roams the sultry tropic night Making frequent depredation on each lonely outback station And creating consternation by the fierceness of its bite.... |
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| The Ozzie Mozzie | Henderson Q. Goldfischer | ||
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....be glad that you're an Ozzie Mozzie. |
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| The Squidge | Joe Pamanian | ||
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...from the collected works "Unusual Birds of Many Lands". |
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| The Student's Lament | Dave Larson | ||
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Remember cutting up small animals in high school biology class? What about the kid who never wanted to do it? |
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| The Tail That Wagged The Dog | Ian Mackay | ||
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Pedro ........ though a little dog Had courage bold and raw; He went into a mirror maze, And confronting him he saw ...... |
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| The Worm Ode | Allen Jesson | ||
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.Re-incarnation as a worm! I had a brief phase in my life when all I wanted to be was a worm farmer. I can hear you giggle but I believed then (and still do) ... |
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| This Is Why Cats Have At Least Two Lives | Christopher Stolle | ||
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How cats earned the other seven lives is your guess! |
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| Time Flies | Harry Capeling | ||
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For anyone who doesn't like flies |
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| Udders | Stephen Cree | ||
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If women had udders and cows had breasts What would be shown in The Sun? |
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| Verses from "Nature Studies" | Joe Pamanian | ||
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A sort of muffled Call of the Wild... |
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| Wash The Dog | Charlee Marshall | ||
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On Sunday when the footy’s on I settle in my chair With an esky on the cabinet to counteract the glare A cushion put strategically to ease my aching back And a pizza on the bookshelf just in case I need a snack... |
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| Whale Of A Tale | Nadia Simpson | ||
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Bobbing along in my boat on the bay, Enjoying a beautiful, nautical day, When just about to hoist the sail, I came face to face with a very large whale.... |
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| When Goldfish Wink | Gerald Bosacker | ||
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You will never see a goldfish cry ..... |
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| Why Ladies Don't Fish | DrWryme | ||
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If you can't laugh, don't read.... |
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All
poetry is copyright by the individual authors.
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