Abie was a Jewish boy. His father said, "My son. You must be circumcised, you know!" And that was duly done.....

Some body parts are better than others.

A prayer was answered, but unfortunately, misunderstood.

I'll start a new one Monday", we've heard it all before, but if I don't really start one soon I won't make it through the door. I start with good intentions of that I can't deny, I'm getting fatter by the hour, I'll really have to try.

I've got a little problem and I know I'm not alone As I travel around the mayhem of the beauty revival zone. No it's not the wrinkles that crinkle around my eyes, Or grey hairs, for I have an assortment of cream and dyes.

Making the best of a bad job!

Mary had a little lamb, a little toast, a little jam,...

If you think this poem sounds crazy and I might be a bit insane...

Oh I wish I had boobs that would wobble Mine just stay still in one place In the breast hall of fame You won't see my name For my boobs there would be a disgrace ...

If you had the chance to change anything about yourself what would it be?

Perah Erkles was a rounder and a bounder and yet for getting around, no other guy was any sounder....

This is a little testimony from a sweet southern baptist teenage girl (me not so long ago.....).

A beauty stood on a balcony high, Sneezed and lost her blue glass eye. A young man walking down The Strand Caught the flashing eye-ball one hand....

Of course I love ya darling You're a bloody top notch bird And when I say yur gorgeous I mean every single word ....

Now I lay me Down to sleep. I pray the lord My shape to keep.

Just a stray thought I had....

The early days of wedded bliss held passion wild, untamed...

From G to XXX - the Dreamaker is a one of kind find. Read one of his silly whips...

You're the train inside my tunnel You're the finger in my glove You're the gear stick in my gearbox My god this must be love….

This poem is a parody of the wonderfully inspirational poem by Maya Angelou, "Still I Rise". No disrespect to the original poem or poet is intended. My mind just works in strange ways sometimes...as does my body!

As you have decided to go under the knife.......

Why do we have them? I dunno...

The Western gear Bootscooters wore seemed set for evermore Until the night some sailor boys stepped on Australia's shore. They heard a band and dapping hands and went to join the fun...

I see that breasts are in again, that is to say, breasts that are out are in. Breasts that are in are out.

Imagine... one minute you're standing there with your dibber in your hand... the next, you're arrested for sexual harassment!!!

For several years they've told me, "Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever bruise or hurt them, And give them monthly tests." ...

This was written for a friend who had a terrible shock one morning.......

You turn me on, you handsome hunk With your sunken, hairless chest In your skinny white arms I feel safe from all harm Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! ...

Nipped and tucked,stretched and sucked...? I don't think so! Read on.

Prepubescent imagery. Empty, stupid eyes. Waif thin. Tyrannical. No fat. No body hair. No character, no love, no personality - no brain.....

Now I'm old and feeble, And my pilot light is out, What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout...

A man who early lost his hair, Bewailed the growth that wasn't there. ......

For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, And give them monthly tests......

When I woke up this morning......

.If I were to stand naked in front of you, You'd probably cover your eyes, Yet, I am the incarnation of a Goddess, Despite sagging breasts and thunder thighs ...

I was booked to have a mammogram, on a bus that comes around. I waited ten minutes at the stop outside the football ground....

Sam was a gynecologist, But he'd done his last swab, For after ten long years, he had Grown weary of the job.

Digit abuse is very common, these people will know what I'm on about..

If women had udders and cows had breasts What would be shown in The Sun?

'When we're born our small bodies are perfect. Whether our skin's dark or fair. It's only much later we get in a state when our follicles start growing hair.

I think I'll wash my hair tonight. It's getting full of dirt.......

When I first came off the Assembly Line, I was a 1957 CHEVROLET CORVETTE, I may not be much to look at now, But I've got a few good times left in me yet, ...

Wrap me in chains. Clad me in leather Run the lawnmower over my hair Beat me as I do the dishes ..

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