Body Poems

Body Poems

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Abie David J O'Sullivan

Abie was a Jewish boy. His father said, "My son. You must be circumcised, you know!" And that was duly done.....

Anatomy Lesson Pete Graf

Some body parts are better than others.

Answered Prayer Laurel Kirkwood

A prayer was answered, but unfortunately, misunderstood.

Battle Of The Bulge Barbara Warnock

I'll start a new one Monday", we've heard it all before, but if I don't really start one soon I won't make it through the door. I start with good intentions of that I can't deny, I'm getting fatter by the hour, I'll really have to try.

Beauty & The Beast Jacqueline H. Bridle

I've got a little problem and I know I'm not alone As I travel around the mayhem of the beauty revival zone. No it's not the wrinkles that crinkle around my eyes, Or grey hairs, for I have an assortment of cream and dyes.

Beef Encounter Joe Pamanian

Making the best of a bad job!

Big MaryBill Dodds

Mary had a little lamb, a little toast, a little jam,...

Body LanguageGerald Sheagren

If you think this poem sounds crazy and I might be a bit insane...

Boobs (Ex Top Ten) Arcadia Flynn

Oh I wish I had boobs that would wobble Mine just stay still in one place In the breast hall of fame You won't see my name For my boobs there would be a disgrace ...

ChangePat Cannard

If you had the chance to change anything about yourself what would it be?

Circumnavigation Thornton Bauer

Perah Erkles was a rounder and a bounder and yet for getting around, no other guy was any sounder....

Fill My Cups Lord Paula Pooo

This is a little testimony from a sweet southern baptist teenage girl (me not so long ago.....).

Giving Her the Eye (Ex Top Ten) Barney Egan

A beauty stood on a balcony high, Sneezed and lost her blue glass eye. A young man walking down The Strand Caught the flashing eye-ball one hand....

I Love Ya Darling Author Unknown

Of course I love ya darling You're a bloody top notch bird And when I say yur gorgeous I mean every single word ....

Ladies Prayer Puddlez

Now I lay me Down to sleep. I pray the lord My shape to keep.

Living On A Large Scale S Theobald

Just a stray thought I had....

Love Dress (Ex Top Ten) Vivienne Ledlie

The early days of wedded bliss held passion wild, untamed...

My Explosive Woman The Dreamaker

From G to XXX - the Dreamaker is a one of kind find. Read one of his silly whips...

My Phallic Lover Arcadia Flynn

You're the train inside my tunnel You're the finger in my glove You're the gear stick in my gearbox My god this must be love….

My Thighs Juliana Taliaferro

This poem is a parody of the wonderfully inspirational poem by Maya Angelou, "Still I Rise". No disrespect to the original poem or poet is intended. My mind just works in strange ways sometimes...as does my body!

New Boobs Lynski

As you have decided to go under the knife.......

Nipples Stephen Cree

Why do we have them? I dunno...

Nude Bootscoot'n Dorothy B. West

The Western gear Bootscooters wore seemed set for evermore Until the night some sailor boys stepped on Australia's shore. They heard a band and dapping hands and went to join the fun...

Observations on the Breast Steve Marsh

I see that breasts are in again, that is to say, breasts that are out are in. Breasts that are in are out.

Ode to a Sun-BatherPaul Wilkinson

Imagine... one minute you're standing there with your dibber in your hand... the next, you're arrested for sexual harassment!!!

Ode To The MammogramAuthor Unknown

For several years they've told me, "Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever bruise or hurt them, And give them monthly tests." ...

OMIGOD (Ex Top Ten)   Bee Rawlinson

This was written for a friend who had a terrible shock one morning.......

Only You!Arcadia Flynn

You turn me on, you handsome hunk With your sunken, hairless chest In your skinny white arms I feel safe from all harm Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! ...

  Plastic AbsurdityIndigo Malone

Nipped and tucked,stretched and sucked...? I don't think so! Read on.

Supermodel Attila the Stockbroker

Prepubescent imagery. Empty, stupid eyes. Waif thin. Tyrannical. No fat. No body hair. No character, no love, no personality - no brain.....

That For The Blokes (Ex Top Ten) Author Unknown 

Now I'm old and feeble, And my pilot light is out, What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout...

The Bald Truth John Pickersgill

A man who early lost his hair, Bewailed the growth that wasn't there. ......

The Boob PoemAuthor Unknown

For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, And give them monthly tests......

The FaceJane Cox

When I woke up this morning......

The Goddess In MeRobyn Scott

.If I were to stand naked in front of you, You'd probably cover your eyes, Yet, I am the incarnation of a Goddess, Despite sagging breasts and thunder thighs ...

The Mammagram (Ex Top Ten) Shirley Friend

I was booked to have a mammogram, on a bus that comes around. I waited ten minutes at the stop outside the football ground....

The Mechanic Frank Halliwell

Sam was a gynecologist, But he'd done his last swab, For after ten long years, he had Grown weary of the job.

Thumb Thucking Blue

Digit abuse is very common, these people will know what I'm on about..

Udders (Ex Top Ten) Stephen Cree

If women had udders and cows had breasts What would be shown in The Sun?

Unwanted Hair Liz Garrad  

'When we're born our small bodies are perfect. Whether our skin's dark or fair. It's only much later we get in a state when our follicles start growing hair.

Washing My Hair Jeff Unsworth

I think I'll wash my hair tonight. It's getting full of dirt.......

Wheels Of Time Robyn Scott

When I first came off the Assembly Line, I was a 1957 CHEVROLET CORVETTE, I may not be much to look at now, But I've got a few good times left in me yet, ...

Wrap me in chains (Ex Top Ten) Violet Volcano

Wrap me in chains. Clad me in leather Run the lawnmower over my hair Beat me as I do the dishes ..

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