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| Abie | David J O'Sullivan | |||
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Abie was a Jewish boy. His father said, "My son. You must be circumcised, you know!" And that was duly done..... |
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| Anatomy Lesson | Pete Graf | |||
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Some body parts are better than others. |
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| Answered Prayer | Laurel Kirkwood | |||
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A prayer was answered, but unfortunately, misunderstood. |
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| Battle Of The Bulge | Barbara Warnock | |||
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I'll start a new one Monday", we've heard it all before, but if I don't really start one soon I won't make it through the door. I start with good intentions of that I can't deny, I'm getting fatter by the hour, I'll really have to try. |
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Beauty & The Beast | Jacqueline H. Bridle | ||
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I've got a little problem and I know I'm not alone As I travel around the mayhem of the beauty revival zone. No it's not the wrinkles that crinkle around my eyes, Or grey hairs, for I have an assortment of cream and dyes. |
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| Beef Encounter | Joe Pamanian | |||
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Making the best of a bad job! |
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| Big Mary | Bill Dodds | |||
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Mary had a little lamb, a little toast, a little jam,... |
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| Body Language | Gerald Sheagren | |||
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If you think this poem sounds crazy and I might be a bit insane... |
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Boobs 
(Ex Top Ten) |
Arcadia Flynn | |||
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Oh I wish I had boobs that would wobble Mine just stay still in one place In the breast hall of fame You won't see my name For my boobs there would be a disgrace ... |
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| Change | Pat Cannard | |||
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If you had the chance to change anything about yourself what would it be? |
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| Circumnavigation | Thornton Bauer | |||
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Perah Erkles was a rounder and a bounder and yet for getting around, no other guy was any sounder.... |
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| Fill My Cups Lord | Paula Pooo | |||
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This is a little testimony from a sweet southern baptist teenage girl (me not so long ago.....). |
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| Giving
Her the Eye
(Ex Top Ten) |
Barney Egan | ||
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A beauty stood on a balcony high, Sneezed and lost her blue glass eye. A young man walking down The Strand Caught the flashing eye-ball one hand.... |
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| I Love Ya Darling | Author Unknown | ||
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Of course I love ya darling You're a bloody top notch bird And when I say yur gorgeous I mean every single word .... |
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| Ladies Prayer | Puddlez | ||
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Now I lay me Down to sleep. I pray the lord My shape to keep. |
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| Living On A Large Scale | S Theobald | ||
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Just a stray thought I had.... |
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| Love
Dress
(Ex Top Ten) |
Vivienne Ledlie | ||
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The early days of wedded bliss held passion wild, untamed... |
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| My Explosive Woman | The Dreamaker | ||
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From G to XXX - the Dreamaker is a one of kind find. Read one of his silly whips... |
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| My Phallic Lover | Arcadia Flynn | ||
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You're the train inside my tunnel You're the finger in my glove You're the gear stick in my gearbox My god this must be love…. |
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| My Thighs | Juliana Taliaferro | ||
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This poem is a parody of the wonderfully inspirational poem by Maya Angelou, "Still I Rise". No disrespect to the original poem or poet is intended. My mind just works in strange ways sometimes...as does my body! |
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| New Boobs | Lynski | ||
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As you have decided to go under the knife....... |
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| Nipples | Stephen Cree | ||
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Why do we have them? I dunno... |
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| Nude Bootscoot'n | Dorothy B. West | ||
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The Western gear Bootscooters wore seemed set for evermore Until the night some sailor boys stepped on Australia's shore. They heard a band and dapping hands and went to join the fun... |
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| Observations on the Breast | Steve Marsh | ||
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I see that breasts are in again, that is to say, breasts that are out are in. Breasts that are in are out. |
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| Ode to a Sun-Bather | Paul Wilkinson | |||
| Imagine... one minute you're standing there with your dibber in your hand... the next, you're arrested for sexual harassment!!! |
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| Ode To The Mammogram | Author Unknown | |||
| For several years they've told me, "Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever bruise or hurt them, And give them monthly tests." ... |
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| OMIGOD
(Ex Top Ten)
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Bee Rawlinson | |||
| This was written for a friend who had a terrible shock one morning....... |
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Only You! | Arcadia Flynn | ||
| You turn me on, you handsome hunk With your sunken, hairless chest In your skinny white arms I feel safe from all harm Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! ... |
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| Plastic Absurdity | Indigo Malone | |||
| Nipped and tucked,stretched and sucked...? I don't think so! Read on. |
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| Supermodel | Attila the Stockbroker | |||
| Prepubescent imagery. Empty, stupid eyes. Waif thin. Tyrannical. No fat. No body hair. No character, no love, no personality - no brain..... |
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| That
For The Blokes
(Ex Top Ten) |
Author Unknown | |||
| Now I'm old and feeble, And my pilot light is out, What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout... |
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| The Bald Truth | John Pickersgill | |||
| A man who early lost his hair, Bewailed the growth that wasn't there. ...... |
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| The Boob Poem | Author Unknown | |||
| For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, And give them monthly tests...... |
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| The Face | Jane Cox | |||
| When I woke up this morning...... |
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| The Goddess In Me | Robyn Scott | |||
| .If I were to stand naked in front of you, You'd probably cover your eyes, Yet, I am the incarnation of a Goddess, Despite sagging breasts and thunder thighs ... |
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| The
Mammagram
(Ex Top Ten) |
Shirley Friend | |||
| I was booked to have a mammogram, on a bus that comes around. I waited ten minutes at the stop outside the football ground.... |
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| The Mechanic | Frank Halliwell | |||
| Sam was a gynecologist, But he'd done his last swab, For after ten long years, he had Grown weary of the job. |
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| Thumb Thucking | Blue | |||
| Digit abuse is very common, these people will know what I'm on about.. |
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| Udders
(Ex Top Ten) |
Stephen Cree | |||
| If women had udders and cows had breasts What would be shown in The Sun? |
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| Unwanted Hair | Liz Garrad | |||
| 'When we're born our small bodies are perfect. Whether our skin's dark or fair. It's only much later we get in a state when our follicles start growing hair. |
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| Washing My Hair | Jeff Unsworth | |||
| I think I'll wash my hair tonight. It's getting full of dirt....... |
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| Wheels Of Time | Robyn Scott | |||
| When I first came off the Assembly Line, I was a 1957 CHEVROLET CORVETTE, I may not be much to look at now, But I've got a few good times left in me yet, ... |
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| Wrap
me in chains
(Ex Top Ten) |
Violet Volcano | |||
| Wrap me in chains. Clad me in leather Run the lawnmower over my hair Beat me as I do the dishes .. |
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All
poetry is copyright by the individual authors.
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