There's been a murder, a woman was killed, ....

I've been hooked I've been iced I've been scaled and then sliced...

The moon were at its full that night when I first heard Horace croak, .......

It happened twenty years ago while travelling interstate Looking for a shearing job - the night was getting late. ...

She had such a passion for living, you'd think the last thing she'd do was to die.

When my lungs come to rest and I've thought my last thought...

Michelle Pfieffer, a weak heart, and an overactive imagination. Bad combination.

Mum was watching the soapies when Aunt Millie rang this day. Said she was going round to Grandma's she was about to pass away. I burst into tears with self pity. Remembering as a kid ... her ways. Wiping my nose on her apron stiff from the other days.

Be careful of the small print, and be even more careful of insurance brokers especially is it involves your life.

After moving into my new house, I couldn't help but notice a really cute apparition was trying to kill me.

There are many conspiracies regarding The King's untimely demise. Now, for the first time, Grubbymitts tells you the truth. For it was he that drove the legend to his end and he is perpetually sorry for it...

We're sorry that you went away, the whippets really miss you.

Sweeney was a barber In Fleet Street near the Strand Cocksure was his nature And Cockney was his brand.....

I have a fear of flying, Or anything to do with flight; Because of my anticipation, My will I sit down to write.

When Joe was first wed he was only nineteen And he said to his wife "Listen Flo, You don't ask me 'Where the hell have you been?' And I won't tell you where to go!" ....

My name and age in a place none too merry, No other spot than today's obituary!

What can I do with 'Enry?

She was being tried for murder "It was self defence", she claimed, "Circumstances happened And I really can't be blamed". The jury listened closely: .....

Scruff, the tragic wagon, worked down the mine ..........

The flying doctor's phone rang...

In deaths today I saw my name, No way I said and looked again ...

A man who early lost his hair, Bewailed the growth that wasn't there. ......

An insects life flashes past his many eyes as he waits for the end to come..

Now Nigel was a city boy From Fitzroy toe to hair. The pavement was his garden, The diesel fumes his air, ...

Did I ever tell you the story of the dead skunk on the road? He was lying there on his left side, his mortal coil had shucked its load ....

Oh tragedy! Alas, alack! Pets are a wonderful addition to the family, until they die, and then how do you handle this sensitive family crisis? With tact or tack?

I'd like to see the manager'. I heard the farmer say While I was working in a bank, Out Oodnadatta way. Silence, as the clerk in charge....

In a big coastal city they built a huge computer. The man in charge of the department, a straight shooter. Invited the lord mayor and some others too. For a grand viewing, to show what it could do....

I read this in the paper, And it really made me think; That a quarter of all road accidents Can be blamed... directly... on drink. ...

Our job was to get" the scratchings" ready for their final flight, In the steerage class compartment of the angels' satellite, And Maxie, our technician, was waiting, "Brahms and Liszt", ...

.Re-incarnation as a worm! I had a brief phase in my life when all I wanted to be was a worm farmer. I can hear you giggle but I believed then (and still do) ...

Today we buried Great Uncle Ted. 'Died unexpectedly' the obituary read. How un-expected can people be, after all the old fart was a hundred and three.

In church, no-one can hear you scream!

Gnome but not forgnotten! GNorman the Gnome is dead and somebody's going to pay!