|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| A Boozer's Tale | Steve Morris | |||
|
I never drink beer on a Monday, Cos Monday's the day fer mi health .... |
||||
| A Drinking Problem | Bernie Kyle | |||
|
Booze has its problems! |
||||
| Charlie's Patch | Patricia Markey | |||
|
Charlie and Fred had been shearing sheep, till the shed cut out last week, So they stopped at the pub for a beer or two, You know how it goes, oh I'm sure you do,.... |
||||
|
|
Cop
This 
(Ex Top Ten) |
Brian Bell | ||
|
The booze bus was out on a traffic attack. One driver was clear, till a spirited cop, having noticed some knives on the seat in the back, said "These are the weapons we're trying to stop!" |
||||
| Crown Jewels | Bernard Shaw | |||
|
Singing God Save The Queen. |
||||
| Dee Dubble-Yoo Eye | Mary Sullivan | |||
|
So you think you're unlucky, huh? |
||||
| Discusion | Neil O'Hara-Smith | |||
|
Massive, impassive....and I knocked over his drink... |
||||
| Drinking When He's At The Lake | Margaret Shurtleff | |||
|
A twist on the traditional "he's fishing at the lake getting drunk again" I'm not standing for it! |
||||
| Floraholica | Pam Harris | |||
|
When it's all said 'n done, with yer life nearly gone, and on thinkin' yer past mistakes over, Tho' drinkin's no sin, it's what y'pour in, and I think I would rather stay sober. |
||||
| Goats | Kathleen Thorpe | |||
|
Trotting through the dusk on that deserted country lane, a sight I'd never seen before - nor never will again.... |
||||
| Have Some Madeira M'Dear | Flanders and Swann | |||
|
She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice, She was fair, she was sweet seventeen. He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice,.... |
||||
| Love Came Cautiously | S. Sorrensen | |||
|
like, at first, I tried not to notice her she was lovely, lovable, loved everybody loved her I didn't want to notice her .... |
||||
| Mulligan's
Missus
(Ex Top Ten) |
Neil McArthur | |||
|
Mulligan's missus was big, fat and mean A cruel and ugly man-killing machine She's the type of woman you'd be looking for If you wanted mercenaries for a guerilla war |
||||
| Piston
--- Broke
(Ex Top Ten) |
Ron Selby | |||
|
He walked into a bar, sat his frame upon a stool, Said to the barman, "Just give me anything that's cool! I'll have a Scotch, a Rum, a double Gin and a quart of beer... |
||||
| She Stole My Heart | Wally (The Bear) Finch | |||
|
I saw her in a crowded bar I worshipped her from afar Her rose tattoo with a star... |
||||
| Sotally
Tober
(Ex Top Ten) |
David Hudgins | |||
|
Starkle starkle little twink who the heck you are I think ... |
||||
| The
Beer Prayer
(Ex Top Ten) |
Ted Guhl | |||
|
Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. |
||||
| The Boy's Prayer | Author Unknown | |||
|
Our beer Which art in bottles Hallowed be thy sport ... |
||||
| The Face | Jane Cox | |||
|
When I woke up this morning...... |
||||
| The Fisherman Of Mordialloc Creek | Fred Curtis | |||
|
Old Charlie liked his fishing near as much As quaffing beer and swapping yarns and such And telling tales of fish that got away And fish that he will catch some other day. |
||||
| The Function! | Amin Sane | |||
|
The demon alcohol can strike at any time, even when we'd rather it didn't. |
||||
| The Good Sport | Fred Curtis | |||
|
A shame it was about old Bert, they said, A drinking man, a sport, a thoroughbred; He' d never meant ill to beast nor mankind And seldom would utter a word unkind.... |
||||
| The Irish Pig | Mr A. Non | |||
|
.'Twas an evening in November, As I very well remember, I was strolling down the street in drunken pride, ... |
||||
| The Jackpot at the Pub | Tom Hampstead | |||
|
The pub's promotion caters for everyone and characters shine as expectation grips them. |
||||
| The 'Most 'Popular 'Bloke In The 'Pub | Neil McArthur | |||
|
The Abattoir was closing, the management went broke So redundancies were handed out to each and every bloke .... |
||||
| The Scotsman | Author Unknown | |||
|
Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair, And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share. |
||||
| The
Truth About Drink Driving
(Ex Top Ten) |
Ian Mackay | |||
|
I read this in the paper, And it really made me think; That a quarter of all road accidents Can be blamed... directly... on drink. ... |
||||
| Under The Affluence of Incohol | David Peetz | |||
|
You know, once your words start to slur, beer and metaphors don't mix. |
||||
| Waitin' | Coffee Man Joe | |||
|
A poem written on a napkin composed in a cafe' |
||||
| Your Shout | Mark Both | |||
|
God, I love alcohol. Every Friday night, Me and the boys hit the town, And drink 'em up till we fall down. God, I love alcohol, I swill it on my gums, .. |
||||
|
|
||
|
All
poetry is copyright by the individual authors.
|
||
