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| A Load Of Bull | Patricia Markey | ||
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Down in Louisiana, there was a newly formed cattle spread, run by two lady ranchers, one was blonde and one was red. The redhead took their stake up north to Texas I hear tell..... |
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| Ballad Of A Farmer's Wife | Pam Harris nee Moore | ||
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In me previous life well I was the wife of a farmer from Fogartys Creek. I was the type who did everything right: I was passive and placid and meek. There was nothin' to learn where he was concerned - just act as if he was a king (and keep sayin' 'no' when he fumbled below 'til I had me that little gold ring)...... |
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| Big Red | Bette Moss | ||
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Poulets $1.50 the ad in the newspaper said And cockerals too at the very same price black or white or red We'll take half a dozen of each we agreed... |
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| Billy & Bob | Heather Densley | ||
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A couple of townies purchased a farm - Thought they'd enjoy the peace and the calm. But if hobby farmers they wanted to be, They needed some animals for people to see.... |
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| Bullocks | Harvey Dux | ||
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The things a farmer has to go through to make a living!. |
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| Drizabone | Graham Fredriksen | ||
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As my heart sings a country song, I brave the yearly August throng, with pioneering instincts strong to where the bushmen are; ... |
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| I Hope Yer Sheep Get Flyblown | Janine Haig Eulo Q. | ||
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So you're the mob got all the rain while we got hardly none; The clouds massed over your place and left us with the sun. Your bit of sky grew darker, while we just got the heat - |
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| Karens Chooks | Harvey Dux | ||
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Some backyard chooks are easy to miss, but not Karens. |
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| Murphy's Jersey Bull | Mr. A. Non | ||
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Murphy was a battler, forever trying to grub A living from a holding that was mainly stone and scrub, He had seven hungry children, so he greeted with dismay, The announcement from his missus that the eighth was on the way. |
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| Murphy's Pig | Pimms | ||
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Now Paddy and Murphy were two Irish men Who went to the market one day... |
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| My First Time | Michelle Wise | ||
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But slowly she spread her legs apart..... |
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| My Gilded Filly | Travis Brasell | ||
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There's always some real interesting twists and turns to ranch life, but here's one that that really takes the cake. |
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| No News, Much......... | Helen Pollock | ||
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Written originally as song lyrics, and gaining some nice comments and scores from the TSA awards 1999. Would like to have seen the judges faces on first reading! |
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| Ode To A Missouri Mule | Fred Moore | |||
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Have you ever plowed with a mule, especially one that should have been an extra in " The Exorcist" .......well I have.....and I just barely lived to tell about it. A coutry boy's tale of barnyard horror!!! |
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| Red the Ringer | Glenn Borland | |||
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Pete and Anne, retired to the country, discover the wonders of rural life. |
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| Redundant | Graham Fredriksen | |||
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They stood at the gate: "Have you worked of late?" Said the farmer to the tramp. "Yeah ... had a good job ... uster pay ten bob ... But then I had t'decamp ... |
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The
Barber From Hell 
(Ex Top Ten) |
Neil McArthur | |||
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When I walked into the Barber Shop, the Barber was a different gent I saw the sign on the wall which read "Under New Management"... |
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| The Bush Romantic | Mark Feldman | |||
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As I stick my sweaty arm up the vagina of a cow ... ... I think of your moist, warm lips ... and wish you were here now. The warm and friendly feeling of a cow turd on the ground ... ... Reminds me of your gentle warmth I feel all year 'round. |
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| The City Farmer | Garth Madsen | |||
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Now Nigel was a city boy From Fitzroy toe to hair. The pavement was his garden, The diesel fumes his air, ... |
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| The Crackerjacks | Leighton B Watts | |||
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Old Crackerjack Mick was a mighty bloke of hale and hearty kin And he sired nineteen cowboys, not a cowgirl there within... |
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The
Gay Farm Hand
(Ex Top Ten) |
Neil McArthur | ||
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I rang the C.E.S. and said, "Slap me up an ad I can't run this farm myself, I need some help real bad! |
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| The Goating Bug | Jennifer Haig | |||
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Me dad, he got the goating bug and his eyes - they all went weird, In place of brown were dollar signs and new plans were engineered; |
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| The Inside Story | Charlee Marshall | |||
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I was reading in a paper that was wrapped around the cheese How the miracles of med’cine have become realities; How women wanting babies can obtain them by the dozen From the local doctor’s cold-room... all conveniently frozen..... |
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| The
Kelpie
(Ex Top Ten) |
Graham Fredriksen | |||
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Well I'm down among the stubble an' havin' bloody trouble 'coz these cattle from the scrub'll take some catchin'. First they double... |
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| The Swagmen And The Sauce | Graham Fredriksen | |||
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'Twas just on dark upon the edge of a quiet country town, two swagmen came a-tramping down the street; .... |
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| The
Wreck Of Big Red
(Ex Top Ten) |
Graham Fredriksen | |||
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I have this four-wheel motor bike that we all call Big Red. For eight long years, he worked the land, but now Big Red is dead. |
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| Way Out West | Topoke | |||
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I was only four when my paw was killed.... |
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All
poetry is copyright by the individual authors.
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