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A Languid Cup of Tea 
(Ex Top Ten) |
Mir | |||
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Flirting in English Tea Rooms is frowned upon apparently.... |
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| A Special Love | Rob Swales | |||
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How can I compare your beauty to other faces? You seduce me in the sunshine unashamedly, knowing I cannot look away.... |
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| Battle Of The Bulge | Barbara Warnock | |||
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I'll start a new one Monday", we've heard it all before, but if I don't really start one soon I won't make it through the door. I start with good intentions of that I can't deny, I'm getting fatter by the hour, I'll really have to try. |
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| Battered
Savs
(Ex Top Ten) |
Ian Mackay | |||
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Have you eaten out at a take-away? Whether it be fish or chips that you have; And have you ever spared a thought... For that poor old ... battered sav. |
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Big Bad Poo | Mark Feldman | ||
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This poem/song was the deliberate act of a very sick, sad, perverse mind at 3.00 AM in the morning on a very dark night. An equally perverted friend who shall remain nameless at this point in time had inspired it and asked me to complete the song as a joke. Unfortunately for the general public, I did complete the song and have performed it by request at various comedy venues. To my complete shocked surprise and horror, it has become a popular item on the agenda. I include it here so that maybe some others can learn it and perform it and save my singing voice for the lower bowels of anonymity where it belongs. |
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| Big Mary | Bill Dodds | |||
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Mary had a little lamb, a little toast, a little jam,... |
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| Confessed Ramblings on Drums and Drumsticks | Endaphia | |||
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A witty poem having to do with puns and different meanings for the same words. It's like to change your ideas on drumsticks :) |
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| Dinner
At Sweetie's
(Ex Top Ten) |
Arcadia Flynn | |||
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I had dinner with my sweetie At his home the other night I knew he’d make a special treat At least I hoped he might... |
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| Doughnut Sonnet No. 25 | Stephanie Scarborough | |||
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Doughnuts-- a marvel of the art of pastry! Who would have thought women all over the world would spoil their diets for this measly hunk of fried dough. "Happy I leave with doughnuts in my hands!" It's a war-cry for celulite-carrying women everywhere! |
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| Fate's Cruel Blow | Buttercup | |||
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Searching for my long lost love I'd inch across the plate... |
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Hypochondriac's Grace
(Ex Top Ten) |
Fred Moore | |||
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How does a health obsessed person say grace at the table? Considering all the new fangled microbes invading our world....try this.... |
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| I Wish I Was A Donut | Therese | |||
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I wish I was a donut And get eaten every day To stick on someone's fingers In a most delightful way.... |
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| Love Poem to a Hot Dog | Rod Gibson | |||
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Oh thou frankfurt between a bun, Why dost thou cause me so much fun? I love thee for breakfast for lunch and for tea I love thee in between times, constantly. |
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| Love: Sunny Side Up | Faline | |||
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NOW THEY'RE TELLING US HOW TO EAT!!! |
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| Lust | Scott Emmons | |||
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Poems about food are best served HOT! |
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| MacWarlock | Paul Bearer | |||
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Cauldrons of fun! Witch meal will you have! |
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| Mrs.
Lovett Improves Her Pies
(Ex Top Ten) |
Fred Curtis | |||
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Sweeney was a barber In Fleet Street near the Strand Cocksure was his nature And Cockney was his brand..... |
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| Ode To My Bowl Of Cereal | Dave Larson | |||
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Marijuana has been known to temporarily impair immediate memory. |
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| Party Time! | Robert Atkerson | |||
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Let's party and see what happens after eatin' beans and drinkin' beer! |
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| Quash that Squash! | Bob Wombacher, Jr. | |||
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Now comes that dreaded time of year: Sadistic neighbors reappear ... |
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| Scottish Breakfast | Peter Holzworth | |||
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Black Pudding With Haggis and Egg, ... |
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| Smoke and Flames | Tom Gaunt | |||
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It's a lovely summer's day and 23 of your neighbours decide to get the barbie going.... |
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| The Cannibal's Dinner Guest | Jack Smith | |||
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This is based on an old Cannibal/Missionary joke. |
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| The
Damper
(Ex Top Ten) |
Mark Feldman | |||
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Having been a keen bush cook for many a long day when camped out up in the mountains or wherever the swag may be rolled, it was proba-bly almost inevitable that a poem would be written about that most wondrous of Aussie tucker, the damper. |
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| The Pizza Lament | Kevin Greig | |||
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Now I'm a pizza-driver I drive them as a job What really pizzas me off Is the pizza eating mob. The first one is the tourist A likely place to start ... |
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| The Swagmen And The Sauce | Graham Fredriksen | |||
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'Twas just on dark upon the edge of a quiet country town, two swagmen came a-tramping down the street; .... |
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| The Toaster | John Pickersgill | |||
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To The Manager Flinging toasters ... |
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Twas The Month After Christmas | Author Unknown | ||
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Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. |
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| Wearing It | Patricia Markey | |||
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I love spaghetti bolognaise If people don't mind sharing it. The only problem with it is I always end up wearing it. ... |
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| Yorkshire Pudden | Weston and Lee | |||
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Hi waitress, excuse me a minute, now listen, I'm not finding fault, but here, Miss, The 'taters look gradely... the beef is a'reet, But what kind of pudden is this? ... |
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All
poetry is copyright by the individual authors.
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