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Food/Cooking Poems


Food/Cooking Poems

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A Languid Cup of Tea (Ex Top Ten) Mir

Flirting in English Tea Rooms is frowned upon apparently....

A Special Love Rob Swales

How can I compare your beauty to other faces? You seduce me in the sunshine unashamedly, knowing I cannot look away....

Battle Of The Bulge Barbara Warnock

I'll start a new one Monday", we've heard it all before, but if I don't really start one soon I won't make it through the door. I start with good intentions of that I can't deny, I'm getting fatter by the hour, I'll really have to try.

Battered Savs (Ex Top Ten) Ian Mackay

Have you eaten out at a take-away? Whether it be fish or chips that you have; And have you ever spared a thought... For that poor old ... battered sav.

Big Bad Poo Mark Feldman

This poem/song was the deliberate act of a very sick, sad, perverse mind at 3.00 AM in the morning on a very dark night. An equally perverted friend who shall remain nameless at this point in time had inspired it and asked me to complete the song as a joke. Unfortunately for the general public, I did complete the song and have performed it by request at various comedy venues. To my complete shocked surprise and horror, it has become a popular item on the agenda. I include it here so that maybe some others can learn it and perform it and save my singing voice for the lower bowels of anonymity where it belongs.

Big MaryBill Dodds

Mary had a little lamb, a little toast, a little jam,...

Confessed Ramblings on Drums and DrumsticksEndaphia

A witty poem having to do with puns and different meanings for the same words. It's like to change your ideas on drumsticks :)

Dinner At Sweetie's (Ex Top Ten) Arcadia Flynn

I had dinner with my sweetie At his home the other night I knew hed make a special treat At least I hoped he might...

Doughnut Sonnet No. 25 Stephanie Scarborough

Doughnuts-- a marvel of the art of pastry! Who would have thought women all over the world would spoil their diets for this measly hunk of fried dough. "Happy I leave with doughnuts in my hands!" It's a war-cry for celulite-carrying women everywhere!

Fate's Cruel Blow Buttercup

Searching for my long lost love I'd inch across the plate...

Hypochondriac's Grace (Ex Top Ten) Fred Moore

How does a health obsessed person say grace at the table? Considering all the new fangled microbes invading our world....try this....

I Wish I Was A Donut Therese

I wish I was a donut And get eaten every day To stick on someone's fingers In a most delightful way....

Love Poem to a Hot Dog Rod Gibson

Oh thou frankfurt between a bun, Why dost thou cause me so much fun? I love thee for breakfast for lunch and for tea I love thee in between times, constantly.

Love: Sunny Side Up Faline


Lust Scott Emmons

Poems about food are best served HOT!

MacWarlock Paul Bearer

Cauldrons of fun! Witch meal will you have!

Mrs. Lovett Improves Her Pies (Ex Top Ten) Fred Curtis

Sweeney was a barber In Fleet Street near the Strand Cocksure was his nature And Cockney was his brand.....

Ode To My Bowl Of Cereal Dave Larson

Marijuana has been known to temporarily impair immediate memory.

Party Time! Robert Atkerson

Let's party and see what happens after eatin' beans and drinkin' beer!

Quash that Squash! Bob Wombacher, Jr.

Now comes that dreaded time of year: Sadistic neighbors reappear ...

Scottish Breakfast Peter Holzworth

Black Pudding With Haggis and Egg, ...

  Smoke and Flames Tom Gaunt

It's a lovely summer's day and 23 of your neighbours decide to get the barbie going....

The Cannibal's Dinner Guest Jack Smith

This is based on an old Cannibal/Missionary joke.

The Damper (Ex Top Ten) Mark Feldman

Having been a keen bush cook for many a long day when camped out up in the mountains or wherever the swag may be rolled, it was proba-bly almost inevitable that a poem would be written about that most wondrous of Aussie tucker, the damper.

The Pizza Lament Kevin Greig

Now I'm a pizza-driver I drive them as a job What really pizzas me off Is the pizza eating mob. The first one is the tourist A likely place to start ...

The Swagmen And The Sauce Graham Fredriksen

'Twas just on dark upon the edge of a quiet country town, two swagmen came a-tramping down the street; ....

The Toaster John Pickersgill

To The Manager Flinging toasters ...

Twas The Month After Christmas Author Unknown

Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

Wearing It Patricia Markey

I love spaghetti bolognaise If people don't mind sharing it. The only problem with it is I always end up wearing it. ...

Yorkshire Pudden Weston and Lee

Hi waitress, excuse me a minute, now listen, I'm not finding fault, but here, Miss, The 'taters look gradely... the beef is a'reet, But what kind of pudden is this? ...


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