|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
A Case Of Nasopharyngitis | Stringybark | ||
|
This sorry tale of how good health can lead a man to strife, Was told by one who'd never had a crook day in his life. |
||||
| Breathless | MasterRevelation | |||
|
I'm not too fit, I'll have you know I'm overweight and rather slow .... |
||||
| Conversation Piece | Joe Pamanian | |||
|
Have you ever noticed that when you lose a filling it is always after surgery hours. |
||||
| Dental Disasters | Keith Allibone | |||
|
Have you ever noticed that when you lose a filling it is always after surgery hours. |
||||
| Dragonitis | Hideous Monster | |||
|
He travelled from the caves And told this news to all the town. He said that he would surely die, If its cure could not be found. |
||||
| EXERCISE! | Dusty Tincher | |||
|
A rhyming spoof about what the dreaded 'E' word did NOT do for yours truly! LOL! |
||||
|
|
Failing
Health 
(Ex Top Ten) |
Brian Bell | ||
|
I heard about an older, widowed lady. This energetic woman loved to dance but underneath her rapture something shady had sought the Doctor, such was circumstance. |
||||
| How Am I You Ask? | Donna Vickodil | |||
|
'll be fine when I lose a few hundred pounds and my cough isn't really as bad as it sounds.... |
||||
|
Hypochondriac's Grace
(Ex Top Ten) |
Fred Moore | |||
|
How does a health obsessed person say grace at the table? Considering all the new fangled microbes invading our world....try this.... |
||||
| I'm
A Lovely Couple
(Ex Top Ten) |
Tad Lawson | |||
|
If I am schizophrenic, it's a trial I can weather... I'm in the best of company when I'm alone together. |
||||
| I'm Fine, Thank YOU | Author Unknown | |||
|
There is nothing the matter with me. I'm as healthy as I can be. I have arthritis in both my knees And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze. |
||||
| Intestinal Fortitude | Maggie Lauer | |||
|
When I itch for you and hunger so from yearning, you're like Preparation H to soothe the burning... |
||||
| It’s Somethin’ In Me Genes | iCharlee Marshal | |||
|
I wuz down in Brisbane Frid’y week an’ went ter see the quack... I reckon it wuz time to take it easy; I don’t want you people thinkin’ I’m a hy-pro-chon-diac But jus’ lately I bin feelin’ kinda queasy;.... |
||||
| Jesus The Healer | Brian Bell | |||
|
The Lord looked down upon the world and saw things weren't too good. His word had been forgotten or at best misunderstood. ... |
||||
| Last Drag | Sandy | |||
|
They'll stunt your growth, your breath will humm like the air expelled from Satans' bum ... |
||||
| My Little Purple Pills | The Larriken | ||
|
I take my little purple pills each morning and each night. My Doctor says I need them and he thinks that he is right. .... |
|||
| Ode To The Mammogram | Author Unknown | ||
|
For several years they've told me, "Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever bruise or hurt them, And give them monthly tests." ... |
|||
| Outing the Bug! | MasterRevelation | ||
|
When I found myself in hospital having contracted Necrotising Fasciitis (Necrotizing Fasciitis to you US friends) I decided to let rip at it! |
|||
| Piston
--- Broke
(Ex Top Ten) |
Ron Selpy | ||
|
He walked into a bar, sat his frame upon a stool, Said to the barman, "Just give me anything that's cool! I'll have a Scotch, a Rum, a double Gin and a quart of beer... |
|||
| Psychodrama | Stephen Cree | ||
|
The doctor's certificate certified that my brain was a splutjabbing mess... |
|||
| Sore Lips | Tony Parry | ||
|
It happened back in Cammoweal in nineteen fifty three, When having a beer in the bottom pub, was the little town's G.P. .... |
|||
| Tennis Trouble | David J O'Sullivan | ||
|
Tennis never was my sport, But I love to watch them playing; Swinging hard an arm and racquet, Such natural skills displaying.... |
|||
| The
Cow Creek Lady's First Aid Club
(Ex Top Ten) |
Neil McArthur | ||
|
.The ladies of Cow Creek decided they should learn First aid Since Mrs. Johnson's Husband cut his foot off with a spade She saw the poor old bugger fall and thought it was his heart Then killed him jumping on his chest, trying to make it start ... |
|||
| The Great Bath Disaster | MasterRevelation | ||
|
How to flood a hospital ward without trying... |
|||
| The
Mammagram
(Ex Top Ten) |
Shirley Friend | ||
|
I was booked to have a mammogram, on a bus that comes around. I waited ten minutes at the stop outside the football ground.... |
|||
| The Neurologist | Janette Tickner | ||
|
This is based on a true story - which is kind of scary ! - about a neurologist I once visited. |
|||
| The Pap Smear | Jacqueline H Bridle | ||
|
Excuse me! - excuse me! - excuse me!!! Yes it was that T.V. commercial that said...Pap Smears are the answer, Have one now, get one quick, and you won't get cervical cancer. |
|||
| The Pills That Will | Diane Merchant | ||
|
The poem was written as a light hearted response to the magic of medication. |
|||
| To Do With Flu | Fred Moore | ||
|
What's it like to go home sick, and try to rest, and your wife's TODO List is calllliinng yyyyyoooouuuuuuuuuu ....... |
|||
| Visit to the Dentist | Joel Bjorling | ||
|
I am queezy about seeing the dentist, yet there is a moment each year which always boils down to that dreaded visit. Will I become an X File? |
|||
|
|
||
|
All
poetry is copyright by the individual authors.
|
||
