This sorry tale of how good health can lead a man to strife, Was told by one who'd never had a crook day in his life.

I'm not too fit, I'll have you know I'm overweight and rather slow ....

Have you ever noticed that when you lose a filling it is always after surgery hours.

Have you ever noticed that when you lose a filling it is always after surgery hours.

He travelled from the caves And told this news to all the town. He said that he would surely die, If its cure could not be found.

A rhyming spoof about what the dreaded 'E' word did NOT do for yours truly! LOL!

I heard about an older, widowed lady. This energetic woman loved to dance but underneath her rapture something shady had sought the Doctor, such was circumstance.

'll be fine when I lose a few hundred pounds and my cough isn't really as bad as it sounds....

How does a health obsessed person say grace at the table? Considering all the new fangled microbes invading our world....try this....

If I am schizophrenic, it's a trial I can weather... I'm in the best of company when I'm alone together.

There is nothing the matter with me. I'm as healthy as I can be. I have arthritis in both my knees And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.

When I itch for you and hunger so from yearning, you're like Preparation H to soothe the burning...

I wuz down in Brisbane Frid’y week an’ went ter see the quack... I reckon it wuz time to take it easy; I don’t want you people thinkin’ I’m a hy-pro-chon-diac But jus’ lately I bin feelin’ kinda queasy;....

The Lord looked down upon the world and saw things weren't too good. His word had been forgotten or at best misunderstood. ...

They'll stunt your growth, your breath will humm like the air expelled from Satans' bum ...

I take my little purple pills each morning and each night. My Doctor says I need them and he thinks that he is right. ....

For several years they've told me, "Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever bruise or hurt them, And give them monthly tests." ...

When I found myself in hospital having contracted Necrotising Fasciitis (Necrotizing Fasciitis to you US friends) I decided to let rip at it!

He walked into a bar, sat his frame upon a stool, Said to the barman, "Just give me anything that's cool! I'll have a Scotch, a Rum, a double Gin and a quart of beer...

The doctor's certificate certified that my brain was a splutjabbing mess...

It happened back in Cammoweal in nineteen fifty three, When having a beer in the bottom pub, was the little town's G.P. ....

Tennis never was my sport, But I love to watch them playing; Swinging hard an arm and racquet, Such natural skills displaying....

.The ladies of Cow Creek decided they should learn First aid Since Mrs. Johnson's Husband cut his foot off with a spade She saw the poor old bugger fall and thought it was his heart Then killed him jumping on his chest, trying to make it start ...

How to flood a hospital ward without trying...

I was booked to have a mammogram, on a bus that comes around. I waited ten minutes at the stop outside the football ground....

This is based on a true story - which is kind of scary ! - about a neurologist I once visited.

Excuse me! - excuse me! - excuse me!!! Yes it was that T.V. commercial that said...Pap Smears are the answer, Have one now, get one quick, and you won't get cervical cancer.

The poem was written as a light hearted response to the magic of medication.

What's it like to go home sick, and try to rest, and your wife's TODO List is calllliinng yyyyyoooouuuuuuuuuu .......

I am queezy about seeing the dentist, yet there is a moment each year which always boils down to that dreaded visit. Will I become an X File?