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Limericks Clean |
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| A Lucky Young Man | Albert Van Hoogmoed | |||
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He's lucky that she isn't telling... |
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| A Midwife Crisis | Albert Van Hoogmoed | |||
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I know of a fellow named Lee... |
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| An Infatuated Man From Dover | Anita V. | |||
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Limericks just pop up and off... |
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Ballerina | Selina Wallis | ||
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About myself |
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| Bubble Trouble | Albert Van Hoogmoed | |||
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There once was a diver named Hank... |
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| Changing The Flag | Pat Cannard | |||
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I submitted this to a radio competition in response to a request for limericks about the flag. |
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| Couch Potentato | Gideon Werds | |||
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A round-Oh-LAY...girls will be GIRLS & MEN will be glad of it! |
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| Dam Limerick | Joe Pamanian | |||
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A young engineer who built dams.... |
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| Einstein's Revelation | Endaphia | |||
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It's worth the few seconds to read it. :) Believe me. |
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| Eruptile Dysfunction | Albert Van Hoogmoed | |||
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There was a volcano near tears.... |
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| Essential Oils | Baritone Bear | |||
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Parsley, Sage Rosemary and Thyme is not a Limerick! |
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Exchange Student 
(Ex Top Ten) |
Tad Lawson | ||
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He's forgotten his roots, he wears cowboy boots, and instead of "Salaam", he says, "Howdy!" |
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| Family Tree | Albert Van Hoogmoed | |||
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You may not like what you find when you research your ancestors. |
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| Fashion Flashback | Dwarvenkind | |||
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I think this one speaks for itself. |
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| Great South African Limerick | Jeremy Hele | |||
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This won the Great South African Limerick Competition. 'Voortrekkerhoogte' is pronounced 'Foo-rtrekker-hoo-kter |
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| Grandmothers Comb | Seana Laird | |||
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There once was a captain from Rome... |
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| In Days of Old | Lucy Blades | |||
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The problems of ye olde fighters... |
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| Irreconcilable Differences | Albert Van Hoogmoed | |||
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We're hearing that Eleanor White... |
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| Limerick Cocktail | Joe Pamanian | |||
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A variety of strange tales in limerick form. |
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| Limerick Seed | Dwarvenkind | |||
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This was one of my early attempts, when I returned to poetry earlier this year. |
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| Limerick Stuffer | Janelle Barker | |||
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There once was a poet named Dan... |
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| Mars | Lucy Blades | |||
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As physicists stare at the stars,..... |
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| Maths | Lucy Blades | |||
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A way to remember the rule? |
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| Mind Over Matter | Author Unknown | |||
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There was a faith-healer of Deal... |
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| Miss Greedy | Ulrike Thompson | |||
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Crime doesn't pay, but the lesson can be humorous. |
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| Missing | Oldnbold | |||
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There was a young lady from Spain..... |
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| Oops!!! | Albert Van Hoogmoed | |||
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There once was a young man from France.... |
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| Outlet Safety | Pezman | |||
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Once a guy put his finger in a socket.... |
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Pedro the Paranoid Pirhanna
(Ex Top Ten) |
The Grin Reaper | |||
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I'm Pedro the paranoid pirhanna, and I don't think that I'll see manyana,'cos some o' me mates, want me on their plates - |
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| Piste Off | Joe Pamanian | |||
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No glow in the snow!No glow in the snow! |
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| Silence is Golden | Albert Van Hoogmoed | |||
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I once knew a man, Mr. Keller..... |
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| Some Limerick Moments... | Joe Pamanian | |||
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None of these people are real - honest! |
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| Song Of The Seashore | Author Unknown | |||
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A bivalve (an oyster to you).... |
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| Stuck In The Groove | Lucy Blades | |||
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Note: Elton John's real name = Reg Dwight |
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| Ten Limericks About Blondes | Graham Lester | |||
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Do you like limericks? Do you like blonde jokes? Do you like top ten lists? Here's all three rolled into one! |
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| The Apartment Manager | Albert Van Hoogmoed | |||
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The tenant in three-forty-four... |
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| The Beef-Packer | Author Unknown | |||
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A youthful beef-packer named Young... |
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| The Flute Tutor | Author Unknown | |||
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A tooter who tooted a flute tried to tutor two tooters to toot. |
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| The Lady From France | Kate Jelinek | |||
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Why you don't dance naked... |
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| The Lady in Spain | Pimms | |||
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I knew an old lady called Maude... |
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| The Millionaire's Daughter | Albert Van Hoogmoed | |||
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If a woman has enough money, a man can overlook a few faults. |
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| The Nudist | Albert Van Hoogmoed | |||
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Be careful where you go without your clothes. |
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| The Poem Capricious | Wes Vogler | |||
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I once entered a poem capricious .... |
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| The Schmidts | Lucy Blades | |||
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Last night I was guest at the Schmidts:.... |
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| The State of Poetry | Dwarvenkind | |||
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Commentary on the state of poetry today, with tongue firmly planted in cheek. |
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| The Swim | Bufe | |||
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A man after drinking a potion Claimed he could swim cross the ocean... |
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| The Teacher | Stephen Gallagher | |||
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There is a teacher from Leeds... |
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| The Truth About Dave | Tad Lawson | |||
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Poets, don't mess with a Muse They're often very bad news. |
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| There Was A Fat Lady From Spreyton | Lisa Gerhard Plucknett | |||
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A lady that eats too much... |
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| There Was A Young Lady From Dover | Lisa Gerhard Plucknett | |||
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Her bloke said "It's cold,... |
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| Tim | Stuart Brewster | |||
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Tim, the insane inventor, Created a woman, but bent her....... |
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| Undisturbed | Rich Sagall | |||
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We were painting the church steeple gray, When the wind blew our brushes away. |
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| Uncle Fred | Lorraine Autry-Jacobs | |||
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I remember swell uncle Fred..... |
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| Warlike Limericks | Joe Pamanian | |||
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Perhaps there should be some things you don't joke about.. |
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All
poetry is copyright by the individual authors.
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