The first snow storm to hit my area, leaving more than 7 inches of snow in my driveway inspired this one.

During a long distance phone call to a friend in South america, the subject of men, relationships and love arose. My friend said (in her thick accent) "Don't worry darlink...all you need is 'appiness" I think this is what she meant….

She took a deep breath as she paused in her stride, Her lips slowly parted, her eyes opened wide.

Written around Valentines Day after reading one 'soppy' card too many!!!

I had dinner with my sweetie At his home the other night I knew he’d make a special treat At least I hoped he might...

Searching for my long lost love I'd inch across the plate...

He never leaves the seat up. I trained him well you know. He likes to think he's got me trained, And I let him think that's so. ...

Mount carefully to avoid damage.

I'm happy just because I'm going banking, I'm putting all my money in "la bonk". I was feeling sad and very slightly wonky because my only option was to wonk.

like, at first, I tried not to notice her she was lovely, lovable, loved everybody loved her I didn't want to notice her ....

People are searching for new diet and exercise programs, but love is a natural.

I love you like a cold pint on a red hot summer day...

Mary, Mary, quite contrary, Laughing through the greenwood races,.....

I were hand in hand upon the golden sand of a tropical island beach with Morwena Hogg......

A sort of companion piece to "Seltzer Sue" A poem about love and loss -- in a grave yard..

You're the train inside my tunnel You're the finger in my glove You're the gear stick in my gearbox My god this must be love….

The Aussie male as a romantic? You be the judge.

How can you doubt that I love you? Didn't I marry you, eh? And though I don't say it too often, I show it in all sorts of ways.....

Old Tom had five hardworking girls. He kept them on the run. Molly mustered Tilly tallied...

You turn me on, you handsome hunk With your sunken, hairless chest In your skinny white arms I feel safe from all harm Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! ...

When I fell in love with Rita, Life, I thought, could not be sweeter, .....

This poem is a short tale of a teenage guy who gets caught in a girl's knicker drawer at a party, and his explanation as to why he is there.

A poem about love and loss in a bowling alley.

It sorta just came out - I really shouldn't have sex with my mouth open. Despite my caution - I mean, after infatuation, what then?

Everyone has secrets. Even a beautiful fairy tale character? ;-)

When lovers really do see face to face!

As I stick my sweaty arm up the vagina of a cow ... ... I think of your moist, warm lips ... and wish you were here now. The warm and friendly feeling of a cow turd on the ground ... ... Reminds me of your gentle warmth I feel all year 'round.

Every divorced woman's worst nightmare....

The sun went down and above the town The sky became deep blue; A meeting made, above the glade Between these special two. ...

Mel Gibson and I are through, well just what's a girl to do It's always been a one sided kind of affair while I've admired his strong, tanned arms He's never once noticed MY charms I'm still single- when we could have been a pair....

Mountin'women like mountin' men!

Audrey was a spinster with a 'man hunt' on her mind. She'd set her eyes on Henry, just moved in the flat behind......

Wry comments from a man still struggling to come to terms with his lack of charisma.

Is this poem about a car or a person? You decide.

Young Men are delicious, Healthy, virile and strong, With smooth skin, a firm fleshy arse, And hair growing where it belongs. Somewhere between adolescence and a mid-life crisis,..

My wife use to moan all the time, "You never write me any poetry" so I wrote this and she's never asked again.