In me previous life well I was the wife of a farmer from Fogartys Creek. I was the type who did everything right: I was passive and placid and meek. There was nothin' to learn where he was concerned - just act as if he was a king (and keep sayin' 'no' when he fumbled below 'til I had me that little gold ring)......

"Do you know...what day it is?” “Nope”...said my beau. “What's today?” “Well! If you can't remember”, I cried “I'm not gonna say. Well aren't you gonna ask me?” I insisted with a few tears. “Alright”, he said...”you're fifty today... and you have been for three or four years”.

On this your anniversary go out and celebrate think back to years ago when it was your first date

He never leaves the seat up. I trained him well you know. He likes to think he's got me trained, And I let him think that's so. ...

"Who was she?" Eve demanded, But Adam laughed.

As good as it sometimes can get!

The early days of wedded bliss held passion wild, untamed...

I love you like a cold pint on a red hot summer day...

Mulligan's missus was big, fat and mean A cruel and ugly man-killing machine She's the type of woman you'd be looking for If you wanted mercenaries for a guerilla war

He leaves the cap off the toothpaste; He never makes the bed; He drops his undies on the floor; And spends far too much time in his shed....

How can you doubt that I love you? Didn't I marry you, eh? And though I don't say it too often, I show it in all sorts of ways.....

She was being tried for murder "It was self defence", she claimed, "Circumstances happened And I really can't be blamed". The jury listened closely: .....

The TV wouldn't bloody work, I thought that I would die, when hubby piped up come to bed, with a twinkle in his eye. ...

I never show my dancing skills in public It's not that I can't dance you know, I prefer to reserve my artistic talent For the right place to let it show.....

My life is in crisis - My story I tell... My days are a nightmare - my wife's are as well! My hormones are upset. I'm bored and I'm tired - My world's upside down ever since I retired!

The demon alcohol can strike at any time, even when we'd rather it didn't.

A shame it was about old Bert, they said, A drinking man, a sport, a thoroughbred; He' d never meant ill to beast nor mankind And seldom would utter a word unkind....

A lady walked into the room to show hubby her new dress, She was a rather large lady - around forty two in the chest. The dress was cut really low - showed off her feminine shape, .....

What's it like to go home sick, and try to rest, and your wife's TODO List is calllliinng yyyyyoooouuuuuuuuuu .......

The day old Job Martin died Was cold beyond belief The grey gums on the mountainside Were stricken dumb with grief The she-oaks by the swamps again....

The long years took their toll on Jim until the joyful day that all his workmates cornered him and one was heard to say "Our syndicate's won lotto, mate....

Each evening we settle to watch the TV, to see all the 'soaps' would be heaven for me. I guess all the cliffhangers and love every one, but in the middle of 'Corrie' I see BBC1 ! ...

Wonderful thoughts take a drastic turn.

.....poor old married blokes.....

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