The clairvoyant said the two ugly step sisters would both win the heart of The Prince charged them a hundred each for separate readings,. ..

Oh phooey!... I'm a failure as a Fairy, I need to go to a Fairy Fat Farm, Or maybe to "June Dally Watkin's", To revitalise my faulty Fairy charms. ...

Thank you for the party Mum My birthday was such fun I know my friends will all come back When I have another one ….

I've been thinking of joining a men's group I've heard they can be lots of fun And if we've all been fightin' for our equal rights here Then I can't see why I can't join one?

With apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan The Major General's Song From The Pirates Of Penzance

You put your right leg in, put your left leg out Put your long pink hairy dangly wobbly bit here and shake it all about Do the Karma Sutra and turn me on That's what it's all about ...

Rainbow, please eat your tofu and remember to chew it through then you can have a special treat a carob coated date to eat…

I'm a trainee vegetarian I eat rice It's nice...with curried beef I'm a trainee vegetarian...

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