Written after a period of coursework-cramming at the end of my gcse years on the computer. Needless to say, I ended up writing it out longhand.

A long, long time ago, I can still remember How that "WELCOME" used to make me smile...

Once upon a schoolday rotten Came some bullies and they were plot'n To mop my head across the bathroom floor …

I'm going to tell you a story That's neither gruesome nor gory About a boy in the farmland He was but a simple farmhand He gazed into the sky blue above And dreamed of meeting his true love …

I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window I saw her standing there alone dressed up in her smalls.....

This is a little testimony from a sweet southern baptist teenage girl (me not so long ago.....).

Ring ring. "Hello, Peter?" "Yes." "It's Al Qaeda here." "Give up now! All hope is lost! We've even destroyed your communications!" "Ha! No chance!...I've got your phonecard!"

With apologies to Alfred Lord Tennyson: Half a loaf, half a loaf, / Half a loaf onward. / All in the belly at once, / Toasted and buttered.

When, in disgrace with Fortune and man's eye I all alone beweep my outcast state, Some S O B among the passers by Is sure to say that HE is doing great!....

This poem is a parody of the wonderfully inspirational poem by Maya Angelou, "Still I Rise". No disrespect to the original poem or poet is intended. My mind just works in strange ways sometimes...as does my body!

An homage to Keats' "Ode to a Nightingale," this parody will whet your appetite for Thanksgiving fare...

This poem is about Tony Kitchener (retired bikee and former resident of Bellthorpe), and his quest to write a history of that fabled district.

An innocuous thought to take away... (with apologies to Dorothea MACkellar)

I wrote this little parody for Teacher's Day (Sept 5th). With due respect to Walt Whitman.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over user guides and handbooks piled up on the desk and floor --

A sleigh-load of foreigners, obviously seeking asylum in Australia, was turned back from entering Australian waters by the navy, Immigration Minister Mr Phillip Ruddock announced today.

Sing it on St. Patrick's Day...at your own risk.

Just some parodies of Nursery rhymes for the church!

Memos to right of her, Files all to left of her, PQs in front of her Volleyed and thundered. Alfred Lord Tennyson would roll in his grave.

Written in the days when businesses had computers but not individuals (ie1991). I was very cross with my bank - but never sent them the poem - they didn't deserve it.

With due respect to Robert Frost, I wrote this parody to extentuate consequences in the choices we makem

Rodgers & Hammerstein go monarchist!

I did this in gr. 9 for a Poetry Anthology and I wanted a challenging poem to parody, so I went to some classic Poe.

Few people know that Chaucer wrote about phone sex!

If you haven't already read it, go back to the original, Marvell's "To His Coy Mistress" -- a far better poem than this one. On the other hand, he only had one mistress to deal with.

The Telemarketer from Hell

There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a Senior Citizens concert. Ms. Andrews sang a song from the Sound of Music, 'Favorite Things'. There were a few changes to the words, so here's the new song.

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