Play On Words Poems

Play On Words Poems

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Abie David J O'Sullivan

Abie was a Jewish boy. His father said, "My son. You must be circumcised, you know!" And that was duly done.....

An Axe and Two Thirty Eights Robert Atkerson

This poem was written with weapons for our Lord in mind. It also won a poet of the year award.

Battered Savs Ian Mackay

Have you eaten out at a take-away? Whether it be fish or chips that you have; And have you ever spared a thought... For that poor old ... battered sav.

Before Purina (Ex Top Ten) Tad Lawson

How's a cat to get fat on THAT?

Borrowed Feathers Anita V.

Inspired by the fact that some people try to live up to something they're not up to....

Circumnavigation Thornton Bauer

Perah Erkles was a rounder and a bounder and yet for getting around, no other guy was any sounder....

Datsun Stanza (Ex Top Ten) S. Sorrensen

The sun sets like molten mitsubishi magna behind the nissan skyline. Once, when times were datsun sunny, bluebirds sang, mini-minor birds warbled...

Discusion (Ex Top Ten) Neil O'Hara-Smith

Massive, impassive....and I knocked over his drink...

Drizabone Graham Fredriksen

As my heart sings a country song, I brave the yearly August throng, with pioneering instincts strong to where the bushmen are; ...

Einstein's Brother Albert Van Hoogmoed

Albert Einstein had a brother. He was unlike any other...

Eschewing Obfuscation Tad Lawson

The raison d'etre of this dissertation is an etude in eschewing obfuscation...

Facts of Life (Ex Top Ten) Vivienne Ledlie

The father smiled to see his child come running to his side. "Please tell me, Daddy, what is meant by that word 'sex'" she cried.

Flag Day 2001: Signs Pete Graf

Whether you expected it or not, another Flag Day poem!

Found Wanting Vivienne Ledlie

The parson preached a sermon to his flock each Sunday morn, Extolling facets of the faith, God's love for folk forlorn.....

From On High Evan Elpus

Ten stories up, I run the joint; You man the firm's front door. We're nicely placed to prove a point Of economic law;...

Giving Her the Eye (Ex Top Ten) Barney Egan

A beauty stood on a balcony high, Sneezed and lost her blue glass eye. A young man walking down The Strand Caught the flashing eye-ball one hand....

Go Forth and Multiply Wally (The Bear) Finch

Well the rains did come and the rains did go 'Twas recorded in the bible you know. This was much more than a passing shower That made old Noah Man of the Hour.

Haiku Tad Lawson

A haiku is a Japanese verse form consisting of three lines, unrhymed, with five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, and five in the third. It is usually an image drawn from Nature. Well, this one's from Nature......sorta.

It Could Be Verse

Author Unknown

Last night I held a lovely hand, A hand so small and neat,....

Itís Somethiní In Me Genes

Charlee Marshal

I wuz down in Brisbane Fridíy week aní went ter see the quack... I reckon it wuz time to take it easy; I donít want you people thinkiní Iím a hy-pro-chon-diac But jusí lately I bin feeliní kinda queasy;....

Labels of Babel David Hallett

there's hippies & yuppies & greenies and hippies & yuppies & greenies... and hippies & yuppies & greenies & Kooris & junkies & drinkies, ...

Les R Patrick Adams

The idea originated from the old sit-com WKRP in Cincinatti with the character 'Les' Nessman...

Le banker heureuse (The happy banker) Roger Wooller

I'm happy just because I'm going banking, I'm putting all my money in "la bonk". I was feeling sad and very slightly wonky because my only option was to wonk.

Life By The Numbers David Hallett

face value/second mortgage/third party insurance fourth dimension/fifth column/six sex shops seven slow commercials/8 bells for old Kuwait (bombs away) nine mutant ninja bloody turtles & 10 commandments (oh yeah?)....

Phone Games BarBaRa (The Essesce) Brickland

.You know what it's like? you're home alone..You have, you call her, and she's happy...she's very happy to hear your voice.

Pin Head Jack (Ex Top Ten)

Tony Strauss

A rather fishy tale!!!

Plain English Nikki Barker

There's nowt so queer as the English Language and what makes it even more interesting is the fact that it is constantly evolving and reinventing itself.

Pornography Wally (The Bear) Finch

This is my tale and I put it to rhyme About strange things for sale at Ekka time. About gullible fools who come to town And the conmen willing to take them down. It is called ...

Private Play (Ex Top Ten) Alan Corkish

When I was a little boy Snuggled safe in bed They said I should play with my soldiers..

Puntuation Tad Lawson

Don't be a fool, it's most uncool Your only *

Refined Reproof Tad Lawson

One needn't be gross; a scalpel can be as deadly as a sabre.

Sally Don't Bring No Roses Grahan Fredriksen

Sally don't bring no roses when she comes to visit me. The only thing she knows is how to play Monopoly....

Spell Check Author Unknown

Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.....

The Amazing Case Of... John Lowery

"from poorer homes to those of the landed gentry"

The Cannibal's Dinner Guest (Ex Top Ten) Jack Smith

This is based on an old Cannibal/Missionary joke.

The Godfather Wally (The Bear) Finch

An Italian family that lives near me had a welcome addition to their family And for miles around with vino and grins happy folk celebrated the birth of twins. ...

The Poetry Police Garth Madsen

I've oxymoroned again. I hope no one has noticed. But sirens soar. It's the POETRY POLICE ...

The Indian & The Paper (Ex Top Ten) Mark Feldman

Of all the accents among the peoples of the world, one of my very favourite is Indian. So it was that I had to tell the story of a poor gentleman who had travelled from Calcutta to the Woodford Folk Festival, but found ill-fortune with a certain product he had purchased at the supplies store.

The Race Michael Crane
They're at the barrier now. Lust is a little fractious. Rage is kicking at the gate. Absence is a late scratching. ....
Timbuktu (Ex Top Ten) Author Unknown

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an uppercrust family -- well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama. The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word Timbuktu".

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