During a long distance phone call to a friend in South america, the subject of men, relationships and love arose. My friend said (in her thick accent) "Don't worry darlink...all you need is 'appiness" I think this is what she meant….

How can I compare your beauty to other faces? You seduce me in the sunshine unashamedly, knowing I cannot look away....

It's time you and me do some ass-a-lin" my friend told me one day "Excuse me?" I said. "Just what do you mean by this 'ass-a-lin' thing you say?"

In me previous life well I was the wife of a farmer from Fogartys Creek. I was the type who did everything right: I was passive and placid and meek. There was nothin' to learn where he was concerned - just act as if he was a king (and keep sayin' 'no' when he fumbled below 'til I had me that little gold ring)......

Do you remember what happened on your first date?

She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was nice, She was fair, she was sweet seventeen. He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to vice,....

Many, many years ago When I was twenty-three I got married to a widow Pretty as could be.

If I had a rich man, Deiger deiger deidle deiger deidle deiger diedle dum, All day long I'd sit upon my bum, If I had a wealthy man … I … wouldn't have to work hard, ...

"Who was she?" Eve demanded, But Adam laughed.

You touch my hand and look at me. There is a message in your eyes .....

It Could Be Verse

Last night I held a lovely hand, A hand so small and neat,....

like, at first, I tried not to notice her she was lovely, lovable, loved everybody loved her I didn't want to notice her ....

My hubby is an ocker of the worst kind - this is his story .....

You're the train inside my tunnel You're the finger in my glove You're the gear stick in my gearbox My god this must be love….

If you are a woman who has ever suffered the agonies of unrequited love and gone to absurd lengths to attract your man, then you have to read this!

Love me when I'm old and shocking.

Sally don't bring no roses when she comes to visit me. The only thing she knows is how to play Monopoly....

She worked an elevator in a city cinema Lifting punters to the circle seats upstairs .....

Oh Hell! … I'm starting to think like a man, I'm considering the prospect of getting a wife, A someone to do all of those things, Mundane or trivial in my life,....

Hey! You! Yeah, you with that "I've got nearly enough on my plate but I'd like a serving of you dressed in nothing more than massage oil" look in your eyes.....

Her beauty took his breath away, Such outstanding charm and grace ....

I've been to marriage guidance counsellors, I've had my tarot read, Observed the books on love and sex, and done all what they said. ....

It's nonsense I said As her codswallop hit my head and I fell to the ground your argument is flawed ....

(Everyone's met this person at some time during their life)

In the far-off north of Queensland, a nostalgic, might-have-been’s land There’s a wild ferocious creature roams the sultry tropic night Making frequent depredation on each lonely outback station And creating consternation by the fierceness of its bite....

My ex has found a guy, quite newly, As "perfect" as a man can be....

What is more romantic than sharing a bath with the one you love?

Mountin'women like mountin' men!

N. A. T. O. accidentally killed Innocent civilians today I placed my hand on his knee ...

This is a poem I wrote about my ocker hubby who loves his beer, shed, fishing and mates ....

Wrap me in chains. Clad me in leather Run the lawnmower over my hair Beat me as I do the dishes ..