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| Abort, Retry, Ignore | Lucy Blades | |||
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Written after a period of coursework-cramming at the end of my gcse years on the computer. Needless to say, I ended up writing it out longhand. |
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A Legend Revisited | Ian Mackay | ||
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There was movement in the carpark, for the word had passed around, That the trolley from Nambour Woolies had got away; And had joined the wild street trolleys, it was nowhere to be found, And all the trolley boys had gathered to the fray.... |
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| Alien Dancing Pants | Grubbymitts | |||
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Underwear from outerspace has landed. Once worn, the wearer becomes the greatest dancer, but the pants have a hidden agenda - world domination! |
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| Alien Dancing Pants 2: Jovian Jockstrap | Grubbymitts | |||
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I thought I had seen the last of the Alien Dancing Pants but I was in for a surprise when its cousin came to town... |
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| A Poem For Those Over 30 | Author Unknown | |||
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A computer was something on TV From a science fiction show of note ... |
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| A Thong's Song | Bridh Hancock | |||
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You cop no chop when you're a thong; No great deeds done and no great song. Is sung as you flip-flop along, Just another cheapo thong. |
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| Bibliophilia | Tony Lupton | |||
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Now that I realise I have this obsession with books and reading, I need to find out if I am the only one who feels this way! |
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| Big Bad Barbie | Robyn Scott | |||
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When I was at The Woodford Folk Festival, I bought a T-shirt that said, "I WANNA BE BARBIE, THE BITCH HAS EVERYTHING!" which inspired the following poem: ... |
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| Biros | Bridh Hancock | |||
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Where have all the biros gone? - Silently, swiftly passing - Where have all the biros gone? Designate them, consecrate them, Tether, tie, glue or screw them down. |
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| Bondage | Peter Holzworth | |||
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I bought the Cat Today. The Jag. Sunning itself In the car yard, Lazy and Cool with mates, A Pride of Jags Long-stroked and clean, Licking Pirelli paws, Yawning in Sales Sunshine. |
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| Cars | The Larriken | |||
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I'd like to journey back in time, go back a hundred years. I'd like to meet those gentlemen who were our pioneers. ... |
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| Car Repairs | Ray Thigpen | |||
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We spend our money on new cars, Hoping for a break.... |
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| Confusion | TONESY | |||
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The water looks quite wet today, and there's oxygen in the air.... |
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| Cursed By A Rotten Day | James Consiglio | |||
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Just a compilation of all bad things that may make you wish you stayed in bed this day! |
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Datsun
Stanza 
(Ex Top Ten) |
S. Sorrensen | |||
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The sun sets like molten mitsubishi magna behind the nissan skyline. Once, when times were datsun sunny, bluebirds sang, mini-minor birds warbled... |
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| Drizabone | Graham Fredriksen | |||
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As my heart sings a country song, I brave the yearly August throng, with pioneering instincts strong to where the bushmen are; ... |
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| For all the World to See | Paul Bearer | |||
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I wanted to get out and see the world. Unfortunately, they all know what I look like now! |
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| Lament of the Washerwoman | Laurel Kirkwood | |||
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Her washing machine has broken down and this pampered lass must face the trauma of doing her laundry in public... . |
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| Metamorphosis | Lee Daniel Quinn | |||
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Have you ever noticed when doing your wash That, after the rinsing -- that very last slosh, That something is missing from out of the flock? It's that one lonesome item -- that mateless ol' sock!... |
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| My New Mobile | David G Robbins | |||
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We are all the same when it comes to technology... |
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| My Phallic Lover | Arcadia Flynn | |||
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You're the train inside my tunnel You're the finger in my glove You're the gear stick in my gearbox My god this must be love…. |
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| Obituary of the Car: Circa 2000 | Faline | |||
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"none can bear to see the remains- once our vehicle of choice, now the defeated carcass of rubber & chrome" |
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| Our New Bed | Heather Densley | |||
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I think it's time, my husband said, For us to buy a brand new bed. "I reckon a mattress and base are the go, So let's go and see just what is on show." .... |
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| Please Call Again! | Stringybark | |||
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Sick of calls from salesmen or debt collectors? Do you get stupid recorded messages when you need to speak to someone? This is for you then. |
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| Pornography | Wally (The Bear) Finch | |||
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This is my tale and I put it to rhyme About strange things for sale at Ekka time. About gullible fools who come to town And the conmen willing to take them down. It is called ... |
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| Ringo
Blues
(Ex Top Ten) |
Grahan Fredriksen | |||
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He's bought himself a set of drums - Seems that's the latest fad For them with teenage craniums Just to annoy their Dad.... |
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| Road Sage | Evan Elpus | |||
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As hanging out wet clothing Brings rain from sunny sky; As focusing your loathing Means headaches, by and by;… |
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| Sally Don't Bring No Roses | Grahan Fredriksen | |||
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Sally don't bring no roses when she comes to visit me. The only thing she knows is how to play Monopoly.... |
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| Scruff, The Tragic Wagon | Ephraim Crud | |||
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Scruff, the tragic wagon, worked down the mine .......... |
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| Snowball | Author Unknown | |||
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I made myself a snowball, As perfect as could be, ... |
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| Tale Of A Telephone | Patricia Markey | |||
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I hope you can spare a minute or two to listen to my story. I was in the shower the other day, in all my natural glory, when through the sound of the waterfall, I thought I heard the phone,... |
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| The Coat Hanger | T Wilson | |||
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I am your coat hanger Hanging in your wardrobe Waiting for the chance To see you disrobe... |
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| The Customer | Frank Halliwell | |||
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Wouldn't you like a stranglehold when businesses keep you on hold? |
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| The Delinquent | Charlee Marshall | |||
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In the gutter by the chemist shop, in the straggling light of day In the torn Kentucky packets, lies a homeless little stray And he dreams about a cozy spot and air-conditioned heat While the sun’s first dewy fingers fail to find him on the street... |
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| The Girl's Prayer | Author Unknown | |||
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Our Cash Which art on plastic Hallowed be thy name ... |
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| The Handbag | Joe Earl | |||
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The handbag is a rare delight, it's like Aladdin's cave, All sorts of things are hidden there, that females like to save, .... |
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| The Ideal Pet | DrWryme | |||
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A houseplant is a relaxed pet,... |
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| The New Dress | Ron Selby | |||
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A lady walked into the room to show hubby her new dress, She was a rather large lady - around forty two in the chest. The dress was cut really low - showed off her feminine shape, ..... |
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| The Trolley Game | MasterRevelation | |||
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The reason for all this excitement, I found, as I walked to the door, was the launch of their "Satellite Trolley" which guides shoppers all round the store. |
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| Will you still love me... | Elizabeth Lindberg | |||
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Is this poem about a car or a person? You decide. |
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| Who killed GNorman? | Paul Bearer | |||
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Gnome but not forgnotten! GNorman the Gnome is dead and somebody's going to pay! |
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All
poetry is copyright by the individual authors.
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