My sweetie's going to Africa He leaves on Friday night I've told him…have a real good time As he prepares for flight I'll be alright! ....

The day is born, the sun is ris, I wonder if my flight home is.

London Undergound, famous for its overcrowding, its delays and its breakdowns. As a Scot living and working in the English capital, to me it's one of the things that most make me yearn for the clean skies of home.

This is from an unpublished collection entitled "Unusual Birds of Many Lands" or something like that...

Some people in North Queensland (Australia) love having tourists visit them so much, that they tell them this tale...

What do men and women REALLY do in the 'mile high club'?

Waiting on a plane, as it taxis for take-off, have you ever considered the air-hostess isn't telling you the whole truth?

Good clean humour. Sure to give you a great laugh and no doubt with bring a smile.

This old plane may be rusty and look quite podgy but she soars like a bird, its the landing that's dodgy

I have a fear of flying, Or anything to do with flight; Because of my anticipation, My will I sit down to write.

Saturday, our arrival, hissed with rain. Sunday didn't do likewise again,........

As hanging out wet clothing Brings rain from sunny sky; As focusing your loathing Means headaches, by and by;…

I want to go to Scotland I want to find a man with hairy legs and chest and face no blond, blue eyes and tan with muscles on his muscles a strapping kind of lad with kilt and great big sporran that would make me glad! ....

This is for all the SLOW granny drivers!

...from the collection (unpublished) entitled "Unusual Birds of Many Lands."

Ah! remember the good old family camping trips!

Did I ever tell you the story of the dead skunk on the road? He was lying there on his left side, his mortal coil had shucked its load ....

'Hello, Puss! Hey!, Sweetie Puss is getting rather fat!' Dad promptly switched attention from the T.V. to the cat, Sweetie Puss purred smugly, her gently rounded tum Proclaimed to all and sundry she was soon to be a Mum,

This ditty, is dedicated to the houseboat, on the Murray river, South Australia.

...from the collected works "Unusual Birds of Many Lands".

Driving for days, heading for Alice Springs.

I read this in the paper, And it really made me think; That a quarter of all road accidents Can be blamed... directly... on drink. ...

On a bus bound for Toowoomba I was tryin’ to have a sleep I was nicely into dreamland after countin’ forty sheep But my dreams soon turned to nightmares,...

I wonder if aliens ever take vacations or holidays?

Bobbing along in my boat on the bay, Enjoying a beautiful, nautical day, When just about to hoist the sail, I came face to face with a very large whale....