Introduction

My wife Mabel has a confession to make about our ten kids and her infidelity. Written in Lancahire dialect (Lanky speak)

Mabel

I wus sittin' me down at breakfast
An on t' opposite side o' table
Wus me darlin' wife of twenty years
An mother of ten, dear Mabel

Shi said, "Ah've summat to tell you
An 'er face in 'er chest shi buried
Ah thowt it wus summat important, dost see
As shi really began to look worried

Tha knows Ah really luv thee lad
I thowt, "Ey up, Ah've 'eard this before
Ah remembered it too, confession time
On yon Jerry Springer show

Ah've bin unfaithful to thee, shi continued
An t' time 'as arrived t' come clean
So brace thisell dear an Ah'll tell thi
'Bout the chillder, thall see worra mean

A leet went on in me 'ead then
An Ah ran me mind o'er me kids
Oo wus the result o' that fling what shi 'ad
Tharras put our marriage on t' skids

Ah'll berrits our youngest oo's odd one
Like peas in a pod are aw t' rest
Ee's ugly, an gangly, an weedy
An small, wi a reet sunken chest

Shi said, "It's about our youngest
'Is father in't same as fust nine
Ah thowt as much, ee looks different
"Ee is that," shi told me, "ee's thine

Copyright; Stephen Corless
Email: stephen@corless.biz
Web Site: http://www.corless.biz