Introduction

The word 'Ocker' is an Australian term for a 'down-to-earth' kind of bloke. Read on and you'll get the idea...

My Hubby the Ocker

My hubby is an Aussie ocker
Everyone thinks he's a real cool bloke
Our house is like Queen Street, people comin' and goin'
They all pop over for a drink and a smoke

He's got one of those fridges with a tap on the front
With free running beer for all his mates
A still in the corner for the rum and the scotch
No wonder they think he's great!

He has a huge shed, it's 7 by 7
He lives in it now, we rarely meet
I moved his bed out there the other night
I only go out there to change the sheets

There's an open air toilet out the back
It's got no front, no sides, no light
They just go anywhere for a leak
Gee I'm glad it rained the other night!

The other day I looked out the back
I saw some construction going on
He was building another shed next to the first
With fifty mates, it didn't take long

He reckons he doesn't have enough room
For all his tools, his bar and his bed
And had to move the boat and trailer out
And put them in the other one instead

When he's not fishing, or camping or drinking
Or rolling a smoke with his mates in the shed
He might pop in for a meal or two
If I'm lucky I'll get a pat on the head

Now the TV's blaring, he's watching the news
The kids and I, we're not allowed to talk
Cos' the weather will be on soon
And he might miss the fishing report

I made a big mistake the other day
I tried to make some conversation
But he was reading the Trading Post you see
And I broke his concentration

So he put his finger on the spot
And muttered through gritted teeth
He said "I'm busy buying and selling,
And didn't we talk last week?"

Cos' when you're married to an Aussie ocker
You can forget the romance, forget the talk
He'll just pat ya on the bum instead
And tell ya you're a real good sort.

Copyright; Janette Tickner
Email: jantick@austarmetro.com.au