To The Mammogram
several years they've told me,
"Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever bruise or hurt them,
And give them monthly tests."
I heeded all their warnings
And protected, both, they are!
I've guarded them most carefully,
And always worn a bra.
thirty years of tender care,
The doctor found a lump.
He ordered me a mammogram,
To look inside that bump.
up very close," she said,
As she got my breast in line,
"And tell me if it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes, there
stepped upon a pedal
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate was pushing down,
My boob was in a vice!
skin was stretched and stretched,
From way up by my chin.
And my poor breast was being squashed
To Swedish pancake thin!
pain I felt,
Within this vice-like fit.
A prisoner in this vicious thing
My poor, defenceless tit!
deeply, now," I heard her say.
Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest's been smashed in her machine -
Can't breathe, can't do her bidding!
that was good," I heard her say,
As the room was slowly swaying.
"Now, let's have the other one."
Lord, have mercy, I was praying!
squeezed me from the up and down,
It squeezed from each side.
I'll bet she's never had this done
Upon her tender little hide!
I had no problem when I came here,
I'm sure I'll have one now.
For if there'd been a cyst in there,
It would have popped - ker-pow!
machine was made by men,
Of this I have no doubt.
I'd like to get their nuts in there -
For months they'd go without!