Ho! Ho! Ho! And Jingle Bells

Ho! Ho! Ho! and Jingle Bells,
What's all the fuss about?
The rich food and the drinkies,
Only inflame my bloody gout.

My credit card has almost melted,
From persistent overuse,
And my liver is near failure,
From pre-Christmas Party abuse.

My blood sugars are elevated,
And my blood pressure is sky high,
I was feeling really well before lunch,
But now I think I'm going to die!

Nobody liked the presents that I bought,
And the family is at war,
So much for Christmas Spirit,
And that's all I asked Santa for,

Now no-one is talking to me,
While I lie here exiled in the Sun,
With my belt unbuckled and my gut exposed,
Thanking God that this Christmas is done.

Copyright; Robyn Scott