Introduction

My name and age in a place none too merry, No other spot than today's obituary!

Phew!

The date was correct and the words were spelt right,
And it really gave me one hell of a fright.
My name and age in a place none too merry,
No other spot than today's obituary!

What a crazy mistake, I thought to myself,
As I picked up the phonebook from off the shelf,
To see my own death in the newspaper post;
It was somewhat bizarre, like being a ghost!

So I called the newspaper and blasted the chief
And told him off smartly for causing me grief:
'It's not very funny, you silly blockhead;
I wake up one morning and read that I'm dead!'

'But you ARE dead.' he said 'As a matter of fact,
You're waiting in Limbo, to be read your contract.
'Yeah, right!' I sizzled 'Now stop larking about
'You're the Standard Post's Ed.' I started to shout.

'Think what you want, but it's just as I tell you;
Any number you call up will get the same venue.
You're dead, and you're waiting to see where you'll go;
To heaven above or to hell down below!'

So I hung up the phone with a smile on my face,
But to make double sure, I called my work place.
And the same voice that answered when I rang up the paper
Answered me now: the same Limbo keeper.

I phoned up my mum and my brother-in-law,
My stockbroker, my landlord and aunt in Warsaw.
But each time I heard the same ominous voice:
'Please hold and wait for your afterlife choice.'

All this is some trickster's, some friend's funny joke.
So I hung up the phone and lit up a smoke;
Poured a cold glass of lemonade; popped in a CD
Dimmed down the lights and switched off the TV.

I'll calm myself down and figure things out;
What in the world was this gag all about?
I leafed through the yearbook of my last term at school
And perhaps spot the culprit who thinks he's so cool.

But I hadn't a clue! Who was pulling my leg?
Neville the nerd, with a head like an egg?
Was it Laurie the lawyer? Davie the diver?
Or Bad-Breath Bill, the Greyhound bus driver?

The music played on: 'what a wonderful world'
And the thoughts of departing it, in my mind swirled.
Old Satchmo singing. then the CD repeated,
Children and rainbows; I began to feel cheated!

Just then I was jolted right out of my seat,
The phone started ringing; I jumped to my feet.
'Hello' I spat out 'Now who is it speaking?'
'It's me; Limbo-man, with the answer you're seeking!'

'I ain't seeking nothing,' I said 'Go away!'
'I'm not in the mood for this kind of play.'
'Well like it or not, your fate has been sealed.
The place you'll be staying at, has been revealed.!'

'Well tell me, then, is it Heaven or Hell?'
But before he could answer, the sound of a bell.
. woke me up to a new working day.
My alarm clock had startled my bad dream away!!

Copyright; John Dingli
Email: jdingli@yahoo.com