Introduction

The only phone calls I ever get are from people I'd rather not talk to. When I ring someone, I get stupid messages about why I can't talk to the people I need to, so I put this message on my answering machine after yet another recorded encounter with a nameless and obviously peopleless government office. I thought it would be fun to give them a taste of their own medicine.

Please Call Again!

We thank you for your valued call,
But noone's here to help at all.
Please listen carefully if you would,
And follow all the prompts you should.

If you're a telemarketer,
Or spruiker, or a fundraiser,
You've got the number wrong somehow,
Please end your call and hang up now.

And if you're from a company
That still believes you're owed a fee,
Your forms were filled in great detail,
The cheques been sent, it's in the mail.

If you are from the ATO,
Or Centrelink, or large bureau,
Or any public service set,
Your call can't be connected yet.

Please try and place a later call,
There's no help left here, after all.

For other callers not asleep,
Just leave your message at the beep.
A family member will reply,
And leave a message, by and by.

Copyright; Stringybark
Email: stringybark@origin.net.au