Rabbie Burns Day

Tony Blair is being shown around an Edinburgh hospital. Towards the
end of his visit, he is shown into a ward of people with no obvious
signs of injury. He greets the first patient and the chap replies

"Fair fa' your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain e' the puddin' race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm,
Weel are ye Wordy o'a grace,
As lang's my arm."

Tony, being somewhat confused, grins and moves on to the next patient
and greets him. He replies

"Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit."

The third starts rattling off as follows

"Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi bickering brattle!"

Tony turns to the doctor accompanying him and asks,
"What sort of ward is this, a mental ward?"

"No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns unit."

Author Unknown