Introduction

There is nothing like the English language to not only confuse our enemies but we Anglophones as well...and that, my friends includeth, the nephews and nieces of Uncle Sam.

Spellchequed

The English language, you'll agree
Is a Pronunciation mystery?
The ees, the ohs, the gees and u's
Are put together to confuse.

It's bad enough to say and spell
But there are words that are sheer hell.
Let spelling be a simple task
Is that far too much to ask?

A person from another shore
Doesn't really know the score
When confronted with these words
In his own tongue thinks we're absurd.

The O-U-G-H can sound like ow
Or off and oh and maybe ooh.
Whoops forgot to mention urra
Another way to say it too.

A dairy farmer milks his cough
Bacon comes from a boar or sough
When hot we wipe our dripping brough
Immediacy will mean right nough.

Wild animals live in a zough
In summer seas and skies are blough
If the past tense of throw is through
Then why can't one and one be tough.

An archer loves to bend his bough
Green traffic lights will let you gough
And makes a better traffic flough.
Now that's confusing dontcha knough.

Piggies slurp their food from troffs
Colds and flu' will give you coffs
If you're not gentle, you are ruff
And doesn't mean that you are tuff.

A TV game was Call My Blough
A taxidermist loves to stough
Dear reader don't leave in a hough
Or chide me in a voice so grough

Oh I hope this last line makes you laugh
I hate to do things haugh and haugh.

Copyright; Henderson Q. Goldfischer
Email: mccartanal@hotmail.com