Introduction

Do you like limericks? Do you like blonde jokes? Do you like top ten lists? Here's all three rolled into one!

Ten Limericks About Blondes

A blonde at a bank in Kentucky
Confronted a robber -- how plucky!
But got shot in the head
Yet she still isn't dead
For her mind was a blank (that was lucky)

All the blonde girls men's magazines show
Balance beauty and brains don't you know
If her bust's thirty nine
I'm inclined to opine
That her IQ's not too far below

Once a sleepy blonde server, Liz Dower
Had a dream she was taking a shower
When she woke she construed
She was totally nude
But by God she'd made tips that half hour!

A blonde girl named Emily Skinner
Would not eat a bite of her dinner
She'd been painting her door
And the man at the store
Had told her she had to get thinner

Once I met an extremely sad lady
Who confessed, "When the world's dark and shady
And my prospects look thin
I think nothing and grin
And pretend that I'm blonde and named Brady"

A blonde-haired young lady from Wales
Applied for a job tracking sales
When they asked, "Can you file?"
She proceeded to smile
And held up ten pretty red nails

Once a Congressman said to his aide,
"The blonde vote's such a foolish charade
They're so ditsy and tarty
That they'll join any party
That has ice cream and pink lemonade"

A naughty old bishop named Hoods
Told a blonde as they walked in the woods
"All us clerical lads
Just deliver the bads
But you blonde girls deliver the goods"

Acme's chief of financial affairs
Hires as many dumb blondes as he dares
Though they can't do math well
He just thinks that it's swell
To be working with figures like theirs

Said a gifted young thinker named Bond,
Who was asked to explain the Beyond,
"Life is cute but absurd
And from this I've inferred
That the Lord of Creation is blonde"

Copyright; Graham Lester
Email: tglit@mindspring.com
Web Site: http://www.grahamlester.com