Introduction

Wouldn't you like a stranglehold when businesses keep you on hold? Whatever happened to "service with a smile"?

The Customer

"Good morning! Thanks for calling us!
We're pleased to hear from you!
Your call's important to us
So we've placed you in a queue.

Please find your account number and
Be sure it is correct..
It's twenty digits long and if you
Mis-type, I'll reject.

I'll lead you through the whole routine
Please use your touch type phone.
Press eight and follow with the hash
After you hear the tone.

If you are a new client here..
Press two, ..if old, press three.
Press four in case we've done something
With which you disagree!

You have pressed four, please wait a moment
While I transfer you..
And please enjoy, while we play you
A symphony or two!

Our staff are all too busy now
To talk to such as you
Your call is so important that
We've placed you in a queue."

Time passes and the music lingers
On, and bye and bye..
My cheek and ear go fast asleep,
My wrist gets R.S.I.

But wait! It may be there is hope!
I hear a ringing sound,
At last a human voice is heard
After the runaround!

"Good morning, this is Ladies wear
And may we help somehow?
Complaints?.. Oh! Just hang on a tick
I'll transfer you right now!..."

"Good morning! Thanks for calling us!
We're pleased to hear from you!
Your call's important to us
So we've placed you in a queue."

Copyright; Frank Halliwell
Email: rhymer@poetic.com
Web Site: http://www.crosswinds.net/~frankhalliwell