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I love it when everyone gets together at the pub. It's made special if there is an event which heightens expectations and in cases like this we see 'characters' emerge to play their role, take their chances and mostly lose like the rest of us.

The Jackpot at the Pub

There's a feeling of excitement down at the Pub tonight.
The prize that we all want to win is clearly in our sight.
All the casuals are pushing in to get up near the tray
Cos the regulars don't like them much and wish they'd stayed away.

This prize is getting quite a size, has been mounting week by week.
Everyone gets tickets but its luck we need to tweak.
Last week old Batty yelled "I think I've won. Here check it!"
But he's half blind and couldn't read the numbers on the ticket.

When the prize was small the crowd was thin and they thought it was a joke
But now its in the thousand range there's not a girl or bloke
Who'll stay away from trying to win at the pub on Friday night.
They get here early, drink their drinks and hope that they'll be right.

Shorty's aptly named, I fear. He can hardly reach the bar.
He stands up on the rail to drink cos he just can't stretch too far.
He's keen to win the prize tonight and hopes it'll be a cinch
But if he don't win, by next week-end he'll have shrunk another inch.

A ticket with the beer you buy is how they work it out.
Even Harry's got the swing of things and has offered mates to shout.
But he keeps all of the tickets, puts them deep inside his coat
And tells no one till, if he wins, he'll have a massive gloat.

It's not the least surprising that the publican is stoked
To see the suckers drinking beer. They'll stay until they're soaked.
The draw will soon be made with the new look fancy tool.
But "Hurry not." He tells the bloke who will draw the lucky pool.

"They need their time to have a drink and feel the atmosphere.
There's heaps of grog out in the shed. I'll tell you when we're near."
The tension here is rising and the challenges are said.
Tomorrow they'll be sorry and won't want to own their head.

Old Solly's had about ten beers: ten tickets in his hand.
He sways a bit but manages, with will, to keep on looking bland.
He might have stopped his smoking since he lost half of his lung
But it hasn't stopped him drinking, playing up and having fun.

The girls are here in force tonight. That's their laughter in the back.
When these girls get out together you can bet they'll have a whack
At wine and those conglomerates that send you off your head.
It's just as well their men are there to keep them straight instead.

Mary's looking chuffed tonight. She's got herself a bloke
And they're looking in each other's eyes. You'd think it was a joke.
But the action will be on alright, soon as the jackpot's drawn
They'll make a beeline for her house and he won't go home till dawn.

He's skinny with a pony tail and he drinks all by himself
It's not as if he has no friends, no one's put him on the shelf.
But he likes to sit and watch and grin at the antics of the crowd
If he wins tonight he'll change his act to very drunk and very loud.

The time is getting nearer and they're waiting for the trigger.
There's a hush of expectation and the eyes are getting bigger.
Last drinks are rushed. They'll have one more, but Billy couldn't pass
He lost his night's consumption down the back out in the grass.

At last it's come, the time to draw and see if there's a winner.
The balls are spun; the crowd is hushed. We hope it's not a skinner.
"It's yellow ninety-three!" He yells, and down the back a bellow
But it's not the jackpot. It's still safe and we are left to mellow.

"The jackpots bigger next week. Don't miss your chances then
We'll take the minor prizes and increase them all by ten."
The crowd just sighs and says good-bye and starts to dwindle out
They'll do it all again next week so come along and have a shout.

Copyright; Tom Hampstead
Email: [email protected]



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