The Jam of a Modern Man (Part 1)

Copyright; Robert Swales
E-mail: dreamingfields@hotmail.com.au

I strike a thinking pose to draw the burden from my chest,
and tangle in the cobwebs borne through lack of stimuli and zest,
you see, I'm unemployed, I have no hook on which to hang my hat,
I'm now soaking up the days and nights like the average family cat.

My brain is slowly draining as I strike another pose
and wait for inspiration to flow beneath my nose,
and all the time I'm sitting the ironing's piling high
and the washing fills the clothesline because it rains too much to dry.

The cobwebs no longer stay contained in the confines of my ears,
they cover the house like potato vine, I'll be cleaning them for years,
the beds aren't made and the washing up now hides the kitchen sink,
the dilemma of the modem man, it's why we smoke and drink.

The grass reaches up to me window sills because the mower never starts
and that bloody, whipper snipper thing is reduced to coughs and farts.
The garden long gone and overrun with all form of toxic weeds,
and all I can do is sit and look with a heart that aches and bleeds.

No longer can I ride my horse to rescue damsels in distress,
nor buy my love red roses or a slinky party dress,
my budget is a shambles not to mention the bad hair days
at night I lay and think of what I had while my lady has her woman's way.

But all is not bad, there's a positive side, I can now whip up a fluffy quiche and salad
and pancakes smothered in maple sauce while humming a Savage Garden ballad,
and my guru is now Kerrianne from my favourite Midday show,
for an hour and a half I'm feeling good and my face begins to glow.

My lady is very understanding and supportive in her role
she encourages me to scrub the floors and sign up for the dole,
and if I fail to complete the tasks she lists daily on the board
she adjusts my allowance with a smile as set in her generous accord.

So I'm still sitting in my thinking pose my face burnt red by the sun,
my jobs and woes still adding up now further from being done,
I'm just a middle aged, new aged, moderm bloke who's finally had enough,
after three weeks of being out of work I find the life style far too tough.

Copyright; Robert Swales