The Seaside Rag

Doo-wacka doo-wacka
Doo-wacka-doo
Believe in what we tell you,
We tell you no lies
Believe in what we tell you
You live in Paradise

Our land-sharks are all Greenies
Our kids don't run amuck
We print no tales of fire or flood
They hurt the tourist buck
We never mention burn-off smoke
or stinking creekside smell
We have no dead or barren nights
We have the R.S.L.

We sponsor abo culture,
tourists love a darkie lark.
We're boosting local know-how
(flogging units, catching sharks).
We have a seaside Uni
with seaside-style Degrees,
Diploma Bungee Jumping,
Garlic Cooking Ph.D's.

Our tourist board is active,
it's taste buds never still.
It gives awards to every caff
and never gets a bill.
Our mayor and his Yes-Men
are a forward looking crew.
It's just as well the R.S.L.
will tell them what to do.

We support the town's religions,
(Rugby League and A.F.L.)
We report the kids' eisteddfods,
although the noise is hell.
In chiming editorials
we preach our moral role
Our classifieds cry Love for Sale
It keeps girls off the dole

We, of course, have won awards
for being civic leaders.
We only print what's good for us
and good for all our readers.
Against greed and graft and crookery
we're ready sympathisers,
but please! Send us no word against
our major advertisers ...

Doo-wacka doo-wacka
Doo-wacka-doo
Believe us when we tell you,
You live in Paradise
Believe in what we tell you,
don't believe your eyes.

Copyright; A.B. Chipper